The Holy Spirit has convicted me in several ways. There are some things I need to change in my life, some things I need to work on, and some things I just need to do better.
This week, I have been studying the Irritating Woman in Proverbs. Once again, I can relate to her. I believe to some extent the Indiscreet Woman and the Irritating Woman are related.
In my study, I have come to know that the Irritating Woman is known as a "controller." In other words, she wants to control every aspect of her life. In Genesis 3:16 (NLT) it states, "And you will desire to control your husband, but he will rule over you." God states that the man is the head of the house, yet the woman is always going to want control over him. This is a result of the fall of Man. I don't know about you, but I have a hard time with relinquishing control sometimes...even to God.
I'm Type-A personality which means a couple of things:
- I am known to be aggressive. I am comfortable taking charge and being in a position of authority, power, and responsibility. I am very goal-oriented and will do whatever (to an extent--I won't do anything immoral or against the law) to get a job done.
- I am also known to have a short fuse. It's difficult to control my temper sometimes. I also get irritated when things don't go as planned. I am a perfectionist. This causes a lot of stress in my life.
- I want things done by the deadline that is given. If things are taking too much time, it irritates me and a lot of times it is known to those around me. I am impatient.
- I am very competitive. I'm driven by success, high standards, and goals. I have a high need for achievement. This also causes a lot of stress in my life. This is where my love language comes in...I need to know that I'm doing a good job.
So you now know a little bit about my personality. The older I get, the more I realize that I'm a lot like my dad. He always told me I was a lot like him, but I never could see it...until now. Nothing is wrong with this, but I have someone who's gone through a lot and has wisdom on how to act. He can give me advice on what not to do.
I say these things because I know that I have traits of the Indiscreet and Irritating Women. I know that I need to work on what describes these women. I might have already posted some of these things, but it's a good reminder for me.
- I need to discern when to keep my mouth shut. I've been working on it this week. Usually I will say something and not have a care in the world. This week, I would say something and then acknowledge that I shouldn't have said what I did. I believe that this is a start. You have to start somewhere...I can't cure it overnight.
- I need to become even-tempered. This is difficult for me because of some of my personality traits. However, I can't let that be an excuse. My dad tells me that, "People don't make you feel a certain way (mad, frustrated, inferior, etc). You choose to feel that way." He's right. It's possible for someone to say the most hateful thing to you, and you can ignore it and not let it affect you.
- I need to think of others before myself. I don't always have to get my way. In fact, I don't ever have to get my way. It's nice when I do, but it doesn't have to happen. The Irritating Woman has outward signs of discord, strife, manipulation, pleads, demands, naggings. She wants her way and she will do whatever it takes to get it.
- I need to relinquish control to my husband and to God. Tyler and I have an even playing field right now. We make joint decisions or we give the other permission to choose. I think that it's important to make joint decisions or be completely okay with his decision. However, he is still the head of our household. A lot of my life, I have spent putting things in God's hands, only to take them out again. This is NO good! Life is only good and full when we trust Him completely.
- I need to learn not to default to the Irritating Woman. When we are controlling ourselves, it's our default to be that woman. I don't know about you, but I don't want to be that woman. We all have been around this person, and she isn't pleasant. I don't want to be known as the Irritating Woman. Like the others, the Irritating Woman starts in the heart...with bitterness, jealousy, hatred, ambition, the need to control.
- I need to work on speaking words that build, bless, and benefit. This is the cure to the Irritating Woman. Even when the person who has been undeserving of these types of words, I must learn to speak these words to them anyway. This is part of discerning when to say what.
This study has been really good for me. I've needed to hear what this study has taught me. I can only hope that what I've learned can be a blessing to you somehow. I pray that as men and women of God, we can all say things that build, bless, and benefit to all that hear us.