Decisions, Decisions...

Do you ever feel stuck?

And you don't know what to do?

And you don't even know how to begin to get out?

Or maybe you don't want to get out?

Or maybe you do...but you're in just deep enough that it will hurt when trying to get out?

Just when we thought things were going great, some other things happened.

So we've come to a crossroad.

Do we keep on trucking down the same road?

Digging even deeper, trusting someone with our ideas that may not work, or they may not want to listen?

Thinking they've done this before but it didn't excel, so why try again?

Or do we make a left turn and begin again?

Hoping that where we do end up will be a perfect match?

"They" say that when you feel something, you're likely not the only one feeling it.

Hmm...I find this true in most cases.

Right now...I don't even know how to begin to look for people experiencing the same, feeling the same, wanting the same...

Simply stated, it's frustrating and lonely.

My struggle is this:

Do we stay put and attempt for who-knows-how many more months, to hopefully make it better for someone else, and hopefully make it better for us?

OR

Do we head back to square one, starting over, and hope that the already established is exactly what we need and where we're supposed to be?

Being a follower of Christ is really hard sometimes. 

Part of me feels like if we decide to head back to square one, that we're just being a fan.

I don't want to be a fan...someone who sits by and roots for Jesus, but doesn't do anything about what it truly means to be a Christian.

I want to do what He asks of me.

The other part of me feels like that even if we do start over, that God could always call us back to where we were.

Knowing that, gives me a little bit of comfort.

But it still leaves us with the question:

What do we do?

We will continue to pray and ask God to open doors for us.

Maybe he doesn't care which option we choose as long as we're serving Him whole-heartedly.

I haven't figured that out yet.

But when I do...I'll let you know.

For now, what do you guys do when you feel like you're at a crossroad?

How do you choose what road is the right path for you?

Not a Fan.

I write this post, today, with jumbled emotions.

I tend to write when I need to sort things out

or when I'm happy and want to share things

or when my heart is overflowing with something I've learned.

I write, today, with all of the above reasons.

Tuesday night, Tyler and I went to Life Group.

Our church is starting a series based on the book, "Not a Fan," by Kyle Idleman.

Have you read it?

I'd love to know what you think of it!

We're reading it and discussing it in our Life Groups as well.

It's church-wide.

It's convicting.

{Enter this week's emotions.}

Some questions were asked in Life Group that just made me think.

Am I a fan or am I a follower of Jesus Christ?

I am so glad that I've blogged my journey over the past year or so.

I can see how much I've grown over the past months.

To be able to see how God had this in His plans.

How everything lined up perfectly.

First, last year {about this time}, I was learning that God could do immeasurably more than I thought.

We never thought we'd be called to move to St. Louis,

but here we are.

But even way before the thought of moving or the job opportunity, God was preparing us.

We struggled through three months in Oklahoma City, which was also a blessing.

And now we're here in this still new-to-us city for we-don't-know-how-long.

I've learned about putting God first.

Tyler and I decided to also put our debt as a {second} priority.

It wasn't too difficult.

And look at us now.

Half of 4 years' college tuition is paid off!

I was so homesick and lonely.

After patiently {or impatiently, some days} waiting for what seemed like months...oh wait, it was...

we now have a small group.

We love them!!

We are excited to get to know them a whole lot better and to learn from them and with them.

I've been reading with She Reads Truth

and I cannot tell you in words what it has meant to me.

I've been so blessed.

I've also been blessed with lots of new blog friends who continually challenge me in my walk with Christ.

I've been convicted to not just read the Word, but to memorize it.

These things in my life have all made me who I am today.

I look back and I see the hand of God in all of it.

Yes, I was miserable at times.

But He was teaching me to rely on Him.

Yes, I was lonely at times.

But He was teaching me that I only need Him.

Yes, I was happy at times.

And He was still teaching me to be grateful for what I have.

Yes, I was overwhelmed with contentment at times.

And He was teaching me that I am abundantly blessed.

Now what?
God has shown us the blessing in obeying Him.

I pray that I will never be a fan of his ever again.

I want to be a sold-out committed follower of His for the rest of my life.

If He's calling me overseas, I will go.

If He's calling me to motherhood, I will go.

If He's calling me to going deeper in my church, I will go.

If He never calls me back to Springfield, then I will stay and serve Him wherever I am.

If He never calls me to do any of the things above, then I will still praise Him.

I am not a fan.