Two Years

Two Years.

In some ways it feels like we've been together for a lot longer.

In others, I can't believe it's been two years.

I am so blessed to be married to my best friend.

The one I'm glad I get to come home to each day.

The one who makes me laugh.

The one who makes me feel like the only girl in the world.

The one I get to serve Jesus alongside.

I'm so thankful for Tyler.

I am thankful for the two years of marital bliss. 

And I'm not saying that sarcastically, as some might. ;)

I pray that God will bless us with many more years!

I'm thankful for our family's legacies of long marriages and what we have to look forward to.

I thought I'd share a few wedding pictures, since I'm not sure I've posted any here.

We had the wedding that was better than my dreams.

I'm so thankful for my parents and the willingness and their hard work that they put forward to help make my dreams a reality.

That is one perk to being the only daughter...haha!! :)

Happy Anniversary, Tyler!

I love you SO much more now than I did on our wedding day!

You are so good to me.

Thank you.

My Valentine

Valentine's Day...

I used to yearn for someone to share this day with.

I wanted so badly for some boy to send me flowers or a balloon to school like all the other girls had.

But that isn't in my love story.

Instead, I have a lot of tears, "whys," and prayers in mine.

My parents had told me that I couldn't date until I was 16.

When I turned 16, I thought I would have boys lined up at my door just waiting to date me.

WRONG!

I had a ton of guy friends and very few girl friends.

But I liked it that way.

During my junior year of high school, I promised myself that I wasn't going to date anyone that year...even if the chance arose.

I was happy with my decision.

I didn't need a boy, but it would have been nice to have.

My best friend at the time had a couple of boyfriends, so of course I was a little jealous.

High school came and went.

Whew, I was outta that small town with lame guys.

(I apologize to my guy friends that I still talk to...you aren't lame, but most everyone else is. ha!)

I was on to bigger and better things...attending a school of 20,000 students.

There just had to be guys there.

My freshman year of college, I connected with 3 other girls.

That was a first...we were best friends.

During that time, I learned a lot about myself.

We shared our lives with each other and truly got to know one another.

During that time, God was shaping my heart.

I had learned so much from them and their experiences.

I learned what I wanted and what I didn't want in a guy.

I learned what it looked like to be completely broken.

I learned what it looked like to have an unhealthy attachment to a significant other.

Of course, I still wanted to have a boyfriend.

Satan loved to get into my mind, and the thought of "What is wrong with me?" always came across my mind.

I always was asking myself, "Why?"

I cried lots of tears at the thought of no one wanting me, and I prayed lots of prayers because the desire of my heart was to be married to someone who truly loved and cared for me.

Fast forward to my sophomore year of college.

A suitemate of mine had told me she had met my future husband.

Of course, I was intrigued.

A few unfortunate events happened between her telling me that and actually meeting him.

But I finally did meet him.

Boy was he cute.

I didn't have texting at the time because my dad thought it was unnecessary, so that Christmas instead of texting me to wish me Merry Christmas, he had to call me.

Now, since I had never had a boyfriend before, I was a little blind at what was happening.

My mom teased me relentlessly that he had a crush on me.

I told her he was just being friendly.

But we talked via facebook every day of Christmas break.

When we got back from break, we continued our friendship.

We hung out every night together.

Did I mentioned he lived in the room above me on campus?

But a few more unfortunate events happened...

and through that, we became friends.

Good friends...

It wasn't until May 1st, 2009 that we went on our first date.

The rest is basically history.

He proposed July 2, 2010 and we were married July 30, 2011.

As I look back on the last four years, I couldn't imagine my life without Tyler.

As I look back to the years before him, I realize that I didn't miss a single thing.

I have no regrets from past relationships.

I have no regrets, period.

He was my first boyfriend.

First kiss.

First love.

God knew what He was doing.

I may have cried many tears, but they were out of loneliness when I wasn't relying on Him to meet that need for me.

He knew the desires of my heart and brought me exactly what I needed at exactly the right time.

I look forward to our future together and what it might bring.

There's no one else I'd rather share it with.

To those of you single ladies out there, God truly knows the desires of your heart.  He knows the perfect time to give you what you need.  He may be saving you from heart break.  He may be saving you from making stupid decisions.  Before you ever ask yourself, "What is wrong with me," you should know that you are loved by Him...the only one who truly knows how to love us.  You may be at a rough spot, and believe me I know how hard it is, but God has such a perfect and beautiful plan for you.

Happy Valentine's Day! 

P.S.  Get 50% off in my shop today only!  Use code LOVE50.

Thou Shalt Build a Winning Team

Well, today's the day.  It's the final day of our "10 Commandments Tuesday" series.  These past 10 weeks have been so good for me as I have been able to read and convey the principles of this book to you.  I hope that you have been able to take away something to practice in your own marriage.  This week's commandment is

Thou Shalt Build a Winning Team

"It is not good for man to be alone;  I will make a helper suitable for him."

Genesis 2:18

God intended for man and woman to join together and become "one flesh."  They are supposed to be united and on the same team.  So how do we build a winning team?  Well, here are some components for a winning marriage team:

1.  The Eternal Architect

God designed marriage.  He made it to be a perfect union.  However, sin has made a huge dent in that union and if not careful, can completely ruin it.  But knowing who the Architect is and following his instructions, we can still build a winning team.

2.  The Right Coach

Jesus is our coach who not only tells us what to do, but also shows us.  Ed says, "The staggering reality is that a husband and wife who have individually invited Christ into their lives "have the mind of Christ" (1 Corinthians 2:16).  All the treasures of Christ's mind are now in the spirit of the person in whom He dwells.  The issue is accessing what we already have and putting it to practical use."  The more we intimately walk with Christ, more of His wisdom and knowledge we'll gain.  The more His wisdom is gained, the more the relationship grows.

3.  The Players
"God has recruited us as players for His Kingdom's purposes.  When we allow Jesus Christ to be our Coach, He can take our most ordinary talents and abilities and do extraordinary things with them.  Without Christ on our side, we can do nothing.  But with Christ on our side, we have all the talent we need to build a winning marriage team."

4.  The Intangibles
Goal setting, commitment, discipline, togetherness are all examples of the necessary intangibles in marriage.  When you are working together on the same team, with the same goals in mind, you're strengthening your marriage.

5.  Fan Support
Encouragement is a necessity in marriage, whether it comes from family, friends, kids, coworkers, church family, etc.  These people are to help encourage you in your marriage.  They are to support you and to be there for you.  So it's important as you choose those friends in  life, to choose ones who will encourage and support you.  These people should also teach and minister God's Word.

Reflecting on Your Relationship:

1. If your marriage were indeed a college football team, where would it be ranked?
   -We're in the top five, vying for the championship.
   -We're in the top ten, thrown for a loss once in a while, but we're a winning team.
   -We win some, we lose some, but we could be a lot better.
   -We're losing more than we win; we don't let the Coach lead us in the day-to-day party of our marriage.
2. In what areas does your mate need some "coaching?"  What about you?
3. How does your family and friends provide "fan support" for your marriage?
4. What is the greatest strength of your marriage team?

I'm so glad you stuck with me through this 10 week series.  I hope you learned something that you can put into practice in your own marriage.  In what ways have you been challenged?  In what ways do you feel affirmed?  If you feel comfortable, would you share?

If you missed any part of the series, you can catch up here:

Part 1: Thou Shalt Not Be a Selfish Pig

Part 2: Thou Shalt Cut the Apron Strings

Part 3: Thou Shalt Continually Communicate

Part 4: Thou Shalt Make Conflict Thy Ally

Part 5:  Thou Shalt Avoid the Quicksand of Debt

Part 6: Thou Shalt Flee Sexual Temptation--Online and Otherwise

Part 7:  Thou Shalt Forgive Thy Mate--490 Times and More

Part 8:  Thou Shalt Keep the Home Fires Burning

Part 9:  Thou Shalt Begin Again and Again

Thou Shalt Begin Again and Again

Well, we're nearing the end of this series.  I've enjoyed reading this book and posting.  Have you?  What have you learned?  Are you putting anything into practice?  Well, if you haven't found anything to work on yet, try this one.  This week's commandment is

Thou Shalt Begin Again and Again

It's true.  50% of all marriages end in divorce.  That is a sad, sad, sad statistic.  But it's very real in today's society.  You either decide to work on your marriage, or you decide to give up on it.  Many people get married thinking that if it doesn't work out, they can always get out of it.  That if they disagree about something, they don't have to work it out.  Instead, they can just "make it go away."  That is not how God intended marriage to be.

But how do we stop this cycle?

Malachi 2:16 says,

"'I hate divorce,' says the Lord God of Israel, 'and I hate a man’s covering himself with violence as well as with his garment,' says the Lord Almighty.

So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith."

God hates divorce.  He says it right there.  But in today's society, it's the norm.  Is there something that we can do to prevent it?

Yes.

Give each other second chances.  And third chances, and fourths, and fifths, and so on.  God is a God of second chances, so why shouldn't we give each other more than one chance?  We are human.  We mess up.  We sure as heck aren't going to get marriage right on the first try. I am redeemed by Him.  He makes my imperfections, my hurt, my damaged heart into something new, fresh, and alive!  If He can do that with me, then I know He can do that with you.  And he can definitely do that with any marriage.

In the book, Ed gives 6 principles for beginning again and again.  I'd like to share them with you, if that's alright.

1.  Acceptance.

"Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God."  Romans 15:7

We are to accept one another, flaws and all.  After all, that's how Jesus accepted me.  He accepted all of me, unconditionally.  Sometimes this is a stretch.  But pray and ask God to help you accept your mate, just as they are.  God made them, and He made you.  He made us all in the image of Himself.  We must learn to accept one another as they are, unconditionally, because that's how Jesus accepts us.

2.  Attention.

"Now that you have purified yourselves by obeying the truth so that you have sincere love for your brothers, love one another deeply, from the heart."  

1 Peter 1:22

What would you have done in a dating relationship if your guy always wanted to hang out with his friends?  He only wanted to hang out with you on Fridays, but all the other days he wanted to hang with his friends.  You would have left because you didn't feel like he was giving you the attention you deserved, right?  Same here...giving your mate attention is like telling them you love them without actually saying those words.  There are so many ideas on how to pay attention to your mate:  compliment them, call them, buy them a gift, encourage them.  This might help you start at the beginning again and again.

3.  Adjustment.

"And be subject to one another in the fear of Christ."

Ephesians 5:21

Many people get married thinking that they can change their mate.  Uh, wrong!!  You can't change anyone.  But you can change yourself!  When you submit to one another, to each other's needs, wants, goals, desires, we'll have a happy marriage.  I've heard many a times, "I can't change...it's the way I am," THAT'S A LIE STRAIGHT FROM THE DEVIL HIMSELF.  Just keepin' it real, people.  You can change, and sometimes we have to pray and ask God to help us change.  To help us get over our selfishness and inflexibility.  When you have the right mindset, God will change your heart, and in turn it may change your spouse.

4.  Amnesty.

"Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you."

Ephesians 4:32

Forgiveness is one of the key ingredients to making a marriage work.  When you tell the other person that you forgive them (and really mean it), it means that you've canceled their debts and wrongdoings.  However, amnesty really means that you make the other person innocent of all their wrongdoings.  You let it go, like it never happened.  And if you're like me, this is a step that I have to begin again and again.

5.  Appreciation.

"Therefore encourage one another and build up one another, just as you also are doing."

1 Thessalonians 5:11

We have to encourage each other, and when encouragement happens, appreciation happens. But we also have to build one another up.  Our bodies are temples, and we must build each other up so that we have layers and layers of value in our temples.  Ed states, "Think of what happens when you buy and improve a piece of property.  It increases in value;  its value appreciates.  The same thing happens when we encourage and build up our mates."  We need to do this on a daily basis.

6.  Affection.

"The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband."

1 Corinthians 7:3

Affection is not meant for just a woman or just a man.  It's something that each person needs. However, the wife's need for affection is strong.  So strong, in fact, that if she doesn't receive it, it can be what causes an extramarital affair.  Affection is to a woman as sex is to a man.  But affection is what sets the "atmosphere" of the relationship, if you will.  It's important to meet each other's needs in this area.

Keep on, keepin' on.  When both partners are committed to each other forever, it's a beautiful thing.  I'm so thankful to have seen my grandparents and parents stay committed to each other.  My grandparents were married over 50 years, and my parents have almost been married 30 years.  Growing up, I always knew my parents would work things out.  Divorce wasn't a word that was allowed in our house.  I was glad to know that at an early age, so I didn't have to worry.  It's something that Tyler and I practice too.  We know that no matter what, we're committed to each other.  Forever.  Til death do us part.  But it's also a work-in-progress.  We have to always be bettering ourselves, working on ourselves, and working on our marriage.  You have to work at marriage, no matter who you married.  


Questions to reflect on this week:

1. What three things would you differently if you could start your marriage over?
2. Which of the six steps to "beginning again" does your marriage need the most?  Explain.
3. Would you consider your marriage warm and loving, hot and cold, or dry and barren?  In what ways?
4. Have you hugged your husband or wife today?

Missed a post?  You can catch up here:

Part 1: Thou Shalt Not Be a Selfish Pig

Part 2: Thou Shalt Cut the Apron Strings

Part 3: Thou Shalt Continually Communicate

Part 4: Thou Shalt Make Conflict Thy Ally

Part 5:  Thou Shalt Avoid the Quicksand of Debt

Part 6: Thou Shalt Flee Sexual Temptation--Online and Otherwise

Part 7:  Thou Shalt Forgive Thy Mate--490 Times and More

Part 8:  Thou Shalt Keep the Home Fires Burning

Thou Shalt Keep the Home Fires Burning

Well, after taking a break from our 10 Commandments Tuesday series, I'm back with week 7's chapter!   This week's commandment is

Thou Shalt Keep the Home Fires Burning.

This chapter discussed the stages of marriage that each couple goes through.  There are three stages that are discussed:

1.  The Honeymoon Stage--almost every couple goes through this stage.  Remember how it was when you first started dating your spouse?  You couldn't stay away from each other.  You had to see them every day.  They were perfect in your eyes.  At this stage, the fire is burning brightly.

2.  The Party's Over Stage--this stage happens when you realize that your significant other isn't perfect.  You have the opportunity to see the person for who he/she really is.  You don't have to be around them every waking moment, and they definitely aren't perfect.

In this stage, each couple must make a choice:  choose to stick it out, opt for divorce, do what it takes to make marriage happy and healthy.  

3.  The Best Is Yet to Be Stage--When you decide to make marriage happy and healthy, you get to this stage, which is supposedly the best of all {How would I know?  I've only been married for a year and a halfish}.  This is the stage of mature love.  The love withstands all odds.  Absolutely nothing can destroy this kind of love.

Mature love.  What is it?  Well, Ed gives some great examples that I'd like to share:

• Patient.  I put up with the imperfections of my mate.
• Kind.  I perform acts of kindness for the other person.
• Joyful with truth.  My love grows out of a base of honesty and integrity.
• Trusting.  I believe in the best from my spouse.
• Full of Home.  I hope for the best from and for my mate.
• Enduring.  My love lasts through even the toughest of times.

Mature love is not:

• Jealous.  Instead, it rests secure.
• Boastful.  Instead, it refrains from building itself up.
• Arrogant.  Instead, it humbles itself.
• Self-seeking.  Instead, it puts a spouse's need and desires first.
• Angry.  Instead, it refrains from rash outbursts.
• Looking for paybacks.  Instead, it forgives, even when treated wrongly.

Most of all...love never fails.  Always there to support your spouse.

Here are three tips on working toward a mature love {read the book for a more details}:

1. Speak Blessings.

2. Open up and Confess.

3. Change yourself, not your mate.

I think these three things need to be worked on, no matter the person.  Sometimes we can get wrapped up in the mundane day-to-day things and we forget.  All we want to do is what is on our to-do list so that we can relax.  Making an effort in your marriage will bless it, even if that means taking 10 minutes out of every day and telling your spouse what you admire about them, talking with them, or reading the Bible together.

This chapter is really good, and I highly recommend reading it so that you can get the full effect from it.

Also, to become mature, be...

Motivated

Attentive

Tender

Understanding

Respectful

Excited

Questions for this week:

1. How important is it to you to "work" in making your marriage a happy, passionate, loving one?  Explain.
2. In what stage of marriage are you today?  What steps do you need to take to move on to the next stage?
3. Do you consider your marriage a loving, passionate one now?  Explain.  What can you do to make it so?
4. In what areas of MATURE love are you strong?  Explain.  Where are you weak, and what can you do about it, starting today?

It's been a couple weeks, but if you missed a post, you can catch up here:

Part 1: Thou Shalt Not Be a Selfish Pig

Part 2: Thou Shalt Cut the Apron Strings

Part 3: Thou Shalt Continually Communicate

Part 4: Thou Shalt Make Conflict Thy Ally

Part 5:  Thou Shalt Avoid the Quicksand of Debt

Part 6: Thou Shalt Flee Sexual Temptation--Online and Otherwise

Part 7:  Thou Shalt Forgive Thy Mate--490 Times and More

Thou Shalt Forgive Thy Mate--490 Times and More

Forgiveness.  That's a hard word to swallow sometimes, isn't it?  I have to admit that I'm not the best at it.  It's something that I work on daily.  This week's commandment was

Thou Shalt Forgive Thy Mate--490 Times and More

I don't know about you, but forgiveness isn't something that I just love to talk about.  And I don't think many people do talk about it.  It should be talked about, however, because God forgives me and you on a regular basis.

Ed shares, "How can we best deal with the imperfections, flaws, and sins that take place within our marriages?  The operative word has to be 'forgiveness.'  We all need to cultivate a lifestyle of forgiveness, a mind-set that forgives consistently and unconditionally."

In the Old Testament, there's an example of forgiveness that's amazing.  Hosea was asked to marry a promiscuous woman named Gomer.  They had three children and then she decided to leave after having numerous affairs.  She eventually sold herself as a prostitute, and ended up as a slave.  When the master put her up for auction, the only person who bid on her was Hosea.  I'm sure this took a lot for Hosea to do.  If you could imagine that happening to you, would you bid on your spouse to take them back?

God calls us to forgive.  In fact, in Matthew 18 it gives us the amount of times we should forgive.

"Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, 'Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?'   Jesus answered, 'I tell you, not seven times, but seventy times seven.'"

Ed says, "Here's what happens:  If you forgive someone 490 times, somewhere around number 300 you get in the habit of forgiveness.  Forgiveness is to be habitual, a practice that becomes second nature."

**70 times 7 is 490 times.

He also says, "A marriage is not so much the union of two great lovers as it is of two great forgivers.  Great marriages are made up of two people who have committed themselves to daily forgiving one another."

That is so true!  We have to forgive each other daily for the big AND small things.  I, personally, know that forgiving is hard to do.  A little over a year ago, I started on my journey to forgiving.  I was a selfish college student, who needed to let go of her burdens.  Since then, I've been trying to let go of everything that I've been hurt by.  I'm a work-in-progress.  I'm not perfect...forgiving has always been a struggle of mine, but I'm not going to use it as an excuse.

Some people think they will never, ever be able to forgive someone who has hurt them deeply.  Some people think they will never forgive the person who abused them.  Some people think they just don't have to forgive anyone.  I'm here to tell you otherwise.

You CAN forgive that person.  It's just not a one time deal of forgiveness.  It's a day to day or month to month thing.  It's both an act and a process.

Ed gives us four reasons of why we should forgive and I'd like to share them with you.

1.  God commands us to forgive.  My parents always told us, "BYKOTA" growing up.  It stood for "Be ye kind one to another."  That comes from a verse in the Bible, though.  Ephesians 4:32 says, "Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you."

2.  Forgiveness is part of the character of God.  He forgives us unconditionally.  We don't deserve His forgiveness, yet He gives it to us anyway.  And I don't know about you, but I think I've passed the 490 mark...I'm pretty sure that number is up there at like 4,900,000,000,000 times or more!!

3.  Forgiveness is good for us.  When we're hurt, sometimes we choose to bury that deep within ourselves.  We allow that hurt to grow and it turns into bitterness.  Before we know it, that person who hurt us, is controlling our feelings and how we act.  Only when you give that pain and hurt to God, will you be able to start the process of forgiveness.  And when you truly forgive that person, you will be free.

4.  We forgive so that we, too, will be forgiven.  When we forgive others, we are obeying God.  It is then He will forgive you, too.  The best thing about God's forgiveness?  He doesn't remember our wrongs against Him.  Psalm 103:12 says, "as far as the east is from the west,   so far has he removed our transgressions from us."

Amen.

There is SO much more in this chapter.  I encourage you to read this book!  It would seriously take me forever to write everything here.  It is good.

Questions to think about this week:

1. In what specific areas of marriage do you have the most trouble obeying Jesus' command to forgive "seventy times seven" times?
2. List some of the little things that you need to forgive.
3. What usually blocks your willingness to forgive?
4. Why would God, who is perfect in holiness, allow you into His heaven, even though you have wronged Him with your sin?

Missed a part?  You can catch up here:

Part 1: Thou Shalt Not Be a Selfish Pig

Part 2: Thou Shalt Cut the Apron Strings

Part 3: Thou Shalt Continually Communicate

Part 4: Thou Shalt Make Conflict Thy Ally

Part 5:  Thou Shalt Avoid the Quicksand of Debt

Part 6: Thou Shalt Flee Sexual Temptation--Online and Otherwise

Thou Shalt Flee Sexual Temptation--Online and Otherwise

We've made it to week 6!  How are your marriages or relationships?  Are you using any of this information to encourage you in your relationship with your spouse or significant other?  If so, tell me!  I'd love to know how you've been encouraged along this journey!

This week the commandment is

Thou Shalt Flee Sexual Temptation--Online and Otherwise

Let me tell you...I'm not an expert and I'm only communicating to you what is read in the chapter each week.  I hope to be proactive about my marriage...work on it now where I know it needs work instead of letting it all pile up and then we have to dig through issues later.

**Side note...I had NO EARTHLY IDEA that last week I would write about avoiding debt and today we would be completely DEBT FREE!!!!  God never ceases to amaze me.

Anyway, this week two examples of men were used in this chapter and showed how they dealt with sexual temptation.

David:  David is known as "the man after God's own heart," yet he acted out in his temptation.  If you've not read the story of David and Bathsheba, I encourage you to do so.  David saw a young, beautiful woman bathing, and instead of looking away, he brought her to his home.  He acted on his temptation, she went home, and later he received word that Bathsheba was pregnant.  Instead of accepting his mistake, he tried to cover it up.  When one plan didn't work, he tried the next plan, until Uriah (Bathsheba's husband) was dead.

Joseph:  He served Potiphar, who was on the Pharaoh's staff.  Well, Potiphar's wife kept making trouble for Joseph...she wanted him.  He told her no, but she didn't care.  One day, she grabbed him and demanded that he sleep with her.  He ran straight out of her house, leaving his shirt in Mrs. Potiphar's hands.  She then told her husband, of course and lied about it all.  Joseph got thrown in prison, but only months later did he become second in command, only to answer to Pharaoh and in turn he helped save his country from famine.  You can read Joseph's story here.

These two men demonstrate things that can happen as a result of sexual temptation.  Did you know that it's not a sin to be tempted?  Everyone is tempted.  It's what you do in reaction to that temptation that could be a sin.  Big blessings came as a result of Joseph's actions...fleeing from it.  David, on the other hand, had to deal with some consequences.

"The Bible, both Old and New Testaments, never encourage us to try to avoid struggling with sexual temptation.  It insists that we get out of its path altogether."  Ed Young

God's Designer Sex Plan:
1.  Sex is God's idea.    "He designed it to be an act of joyful pleasure by which a husband and wife bond physically, spiritually, and emotionally--they become one."
2.  Human sexuality is unique.  "Though the world might have us believe that we've evolved to a level just above the animals, God tells us we were created just slightly below the angels."
3.  Sex involves every aspect of our being.  "It creates bonds that are intended for marriage alone...Sex involves total oneness with our mates, just as it did with that first couple:  physically, yes. but also psychologically, emotionally, and mentally."
4.  Sex requires boundaries.  "It's a sacred act between two people committed to one another in the covenant relationship of marriage.  Because of it's sacredness, the expression of love and oneness between a husband and wife must be protected and honored."  Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled.  Hebrews 13:4

Sex symbolizes the love that God has for us, too.  It symbolizes the way that He interacts with His people.  God wants intimacy with each of us.

"How do we protect the sacredness of marriage?  We heed Scripture and flee sexual temptation.  How?  By running from it like a deadly disease, by recognizing the "purity" of sex as God designed it, and by protecting it from the onslaughts of a society that has degraded sex to a passionate 'pastime.'"  Ed Young

If you really want to flee the temptation, then stay off the rooftop.  Learn from David.  It doesn't matter if those "rooftops" are online, at work, in a club...stay off of them.  Run from them.   But what do we run to?  "In order to avoid the dangerous pitfall of sexual temptation and build happy, successful marriages, we need to flee to deep, genuine, and biblical intimacy with our mates."  

There is a WHOLE lot more to this chapter, but I don't have enough time to cover it all.  You really should pick the book up and read it together with your spouse!


This week's reflection questions:

1. Write your definition of sex.  Would your understanding of sex be more in keeping with "designer" sex or "cultural" sex?
2. What "rooftops" tempt you most?  What is your "flight" plan from this temptation?
3. What grade would you give the intimacy (sexual, emotional, and spiritual) in your marriage?  What is one thing you and your mate can do to improve your grade?
4. Is your marriage built on the rock or the sand?  Explain.

Missed a part?  You can catch up here:

Part 1: Thou Shalt Not Be a Selfish Pig

Part 2: Thou Shalt Cut the Apron Strings

Part 3: Thou Shalt Continually Communicate

Part 4: Thou Shalt Make Conflict Thy Ally

Part 5:  Thou Shalt Avoid the Quicksand of Debt