Two Years

Two Years.

In some ways it feels like we've been together for a lot longer.

In others, I can't believe it's been two years.

I am so blessed to be married to my best friend.

The one I'm glad I get to come home to each day.

The one who makes me laugh.

The one who makes me feel like the only girl in the world.

The one I get to serve Jesus alongside.

I'm so thankful for Tyler.

I am thankful for the two years of marital bliss. 

And I'm not saying that sarcastically, as some might. ;)

I pray that God will bless us with many more years!

I'm thankful for our family's legacies of long marriages and what we have to look forward to.

I thought I'd share a few wedding pictures, since I'm not sure I've posted any here.

We had the wedding that was better than my dreams.

I'm so thankful for my parents and the willingness and their hard work that they put forward to help make my dreams a reality.

That is one perk to being the only daughter...haha!! :)

Happy Anniversary, Tyler!

I love you SO much more now than I did on our wedding day!

You are so good to me.

Thank you.

The Proposal Story

Since I posted yesterday on my facebook and instagram about it being 3 years since Tyler proposed to me, I had several questions about the story.  I had written the story out right after we got engaged and posted it on our Knot page...so without further ado, I thought I'd share it with you.  Sorry if you've heard it a million times...but I love it.

Let me preface this by saying that we both worked for our University's orientation program, so we were living on campus, working our jobs.  Being that our orientation program was awesome, we got 3 day weekends all summer long. :)

July 2, 2010

It was a Friday morning, and I was cleaning my room.  I had texted Tyler twice, but had no reply from him.  That was unusual, because he's pretty good at replying to me.  My last text had been at 11:30 am asking when he wanted to eat lunch.  We usually eat on campus since it's free.  He called me back at noon and told me he would come up to my room when he got back to campus.  I asked him where he was, and his reply was that he went to the mall to go shopping with Rachel since she needed to take a dress back.  That was weird to me too, because he normally doesn't get out of bed until 11 am on days when we don't have to work. 

He came up to my room, and I looked like crap.  I had shorts and a t-shirt on, no make-up, and my glasses on.  He was all excited to see me, and asked if I wanted to go eat at Bandana's (a BBQ joint).  I said sure, but I needed to at least put my contacts in.  He was being so impatient, and was being weird.  I was putting my second contact in when he comes over to the mirror with my purse, sunglasses, and keys in his hand. 

He said he would drive (which is also unusual).  He made a wrong turn, which he says is my fault because I'm supposed to tell him where to go.  Whatever. :]  Anyway, we turn around, and as we're driving past Bandana's, I point to it and say, "Uh...there it is."  He said he knew, but that he wanted to go find this store down the street.  I asked him which one, and he didn't answer. 

Soon enough, we pull into this strip mall and park in front of a furniture store.  I asked what we were doing, and he said, "This furniture in the store is made entirely of wood."  I said, "Yeah, so?"  He said, "Let's go in."  At this point I'm super confused.  He's out of the car before I can even open my door.

I'm walking behind him, and he turns around abruptly and gets down on one knee.  At this point, I'm freaking out.  He pulls out the ring, and says some sort of lovey-dovey stuff (neither of us remember what was said).  Then he points to the store name and asks, "Wood you marry me?"  See, the name of the furniture store is Wood You Furniture.  I'm freaking out so much, that I can't even remember to say yes, but finally I do.

Funny thing is...we didn't even eat at Bandana's. :]

We were headed to my family that weekend, so we knew we would announce it then.  My mom and dad graciously host a 4th of July party each year, so we could tell them all at the same time.  It was really difficult to hide my ring {and I didn't not want to wear it}, but we finally told them all and they were excited for us!

We are somewhat of a spontaneous couple, so this makes since.  We always said that we would go purchase something in that shop to put in our home.  We haven't done that yet, but I would love to go back and do that. 

My Life Update

This week has been so busy that I haven't had time to blog!
Maybe I can get caught up this week...we'll have to see.
I thought I would give you a little life update, since I posted my whole heart on this post.

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Back in February, Tyler and I went to Branson to hang out with my Mom and Dad.
We met up with them in Springfield at Braum's.  
My brothers and their girlfriends were there, so I know this was a God-thing.
We got there, and instantly I knew something was wrong.
My mom didn't even look up to say hi.
She had this look on her face, and I was about to ask who died.
Literally...it was that bad.
Seconds before, my dad had gotten off the phone with his sister.
She had told him that their other sister (the baby of the family) had just been told she has

C A N C E R.

That's not a scary word when you're not directly affected by it.

But oh goodness, it is scary now.

You may say that I'm not directly affected by it now.

You're right...she's not my mom or sister, but she is my aunt.

See my family is a little strange (okay, maybe a lot).

All of us love Jesus a lot!

The Buntons have a legacy.

Whether they are my extended family or my immediate family, they are still my family.

Cancer is something that takes an entire family (plus some) to beat.

My heart aches, knowing that she has to go through this.

But God has a plan.  A wonderful plan.

My momma brought my aunt up here to see a special doctor this week.

She had seen 2 others, but she wanted another opinion.

So on Tuesday evening, we had a houseful of guests!

My momma, aunt, uncle, and cousin (who lives here in town) all came over for supper!

It was great to see them, but the circumstances weren't so great.

We had a lot of laughs and numerous conversations about our quirky family.

Ya know, we may all have our moments, but I wouldn't trade them for anything in this world.

Long story short to say, please pray for her!  

Also, pray for her husband and 6 kids.

We would really appreciate that!

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We also got to see my brother this week!
He brought his girlfriend up on Wednesday to hang out (it's their Spring Break), so we met them at The Cheesecake Factory for supper!
It was so nice to see them and get to catch up for a little bit.
I hope they'll come up again soon and hang out longer!!

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After many visits with area churches, we were just struggling and aggravated.

We decided to go back to the church that we originally liked and have a small group with.

However, against my traditional ways, we decided to attend the Saturday evening service because there are 2 couples from our small group that go to that service.

We decided that this could be a positive thing, and they could possibly introduce us to other people.

We've only been going back for 3 weeks, but we've hung out with several people since then.

This has really helped me, since I'm an extremely extroverted person.

I need to be around people to recharge my batteries.

I am hopeful for what is to come in the future.

I am grateful for the people who've been praying for us.

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I do have to brag.

My husband is a stud at his job!

He got "TSR of the Month" for the month of January (yes, they put the wrong year on it), AND he was the fastest TSR to get $1 million in setups for his job!

That may mean nothing to you, but just know that he is amazing at what he does.

He also has a VERY proud wife!! :)

We are hoping to go on vacation in about a month, so stay tuned for that! :)

We are just living the working couple's life right now.

I feel that life is getting better, and our my attitude is getting better.

Those are both positive things!

Oh and I did just give my shop a little update.
Get 15% off your order this weekend with code NEW15!

The Date Box...Questions Answered

One thing that I have had tons of questions on is the date box that I created for my husband last February.  I'm bringing back a portion of this post from last year.

Let me preface this by saying {for those of you who don't know} that we lived in Oklahoma City from January-March of last year.  We then moved to St. Louis at the end of March.  The pictures were taken from my iPhone 3GS because my camera was packed away in storage somewhere...and I hadn't upgraded to the 4S yet.

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I got the idea from this blog.  I thought it was really neat, so I thought I could do it for my husband.  I call it the Date of the Month Club.  I started out just writing a list of things we could do.  It was hard to really plan, because at the time we had no idea where we would be for the month of March. (For those of you who don't know, March 29th is Tyler's last day in OKC.)  Planning was actually harder than it sounds because we haven't actually lived in STL yet either!  With help from my friend, Kelsey, (by the way, if I forgot to send you a thank you, THANK YOU!!!), she gave me some ideas of things to do in the area.


Then I cut up little cards with the month on them.  These are for clues.

I wrote each clue on the card and bought the needed accessories to go with each date to put in the envelope.  These are pre-planned, and mostly pre-paid.  I also planned some weekend getaways to use throughout the year.

I wrote a card introducing him to his gift.  I told him what he got and how to use each thing.  Then, I wrote a Date Agreement Card.  He had to agree to those things, sign the card, and return to to me in exchange for some Romance Reward Tickets.  He also got a special bag of chocolate caramel (because that's what I like) in exchange for real kisses.

I searched high and low for a box to put it all in, but I finally found one at Hobby Lobby (my most favorite craft store)!  AND it was half off!!! 

I jazzed up the envelopes a little bit as well.  I didn't like the boring yellow, but I didn't want to decorate them a whole lot since they would most likely just be thrown away.

I was really pleased with how it turned out, and I really hope that Tyler likes it as much as I do.  I am super excited about our date nights for the next year!!  The best part is that each one isn't super expensive.  They are interesting and cheap! 

Some frequently asked questions that I've received:

1.  What kind of dates did you plan?

          - I went with dates that I knew we could do.  I planned dates that were cheap or free.  I kept a running list of all the places that I thought were reasonable and planned by the month {weather-wise}.  If the date included a meal, I purchased a gift card to put in the envelope so Tyler could have some sort of a clue as to where we'd be eating.  

Some examples of the date ideas (some that we did):  

• the zoo (free) with a Subway picnic lunch--the zoo here allows you to bring food in.
• the science center (free) with a meal at Steak 'n Shake (which was right down the road)
• bowling
• mini-golf
• a slumber party complete with pizza and games (this was my favorite date night!)

Be creative.  Research your area if you're unfamiliar with the activities around you.  I did a week's worth of research because I had absolutely no idea about the area we were in or we would be moving to.  It would probably be easier if you've been in the area for a while. :)

2.  What was in your agreement?

          - I wanted one night a month where we could just focus on each other.  One of the big things was that cell phones weren't allowed.  They had to be shut off.  Another thing was that the date card would be given on the 1st of the month, and we had to put it on the calendar (to make sure it would get done).  Also,  the gift cards had to be used on the date...they couldn't be used elsewhere.  It was full of things that allowed us to make sure we completed the activity.  Oh, and no peeking allowed!

3.  What are romance reward tickets?

          - These were extra little things that I created to make it extra special.  For example, one of the tickets was a "Yes Day."  He could redeem the ticket and I had to say "yes" to whatever he wanted to do.  If he wanted to go shooting, I said "yes."  If he wanted his favorite meal, I said, "yes."  It's little things like that, that help make him feel special.

4.  What are the vacation cards?

          - These are also an added perk.  They aren't supposed to be expensive, just little mini-getaways during the year when you feel like you need some time together.  

Some examples could be:

• A Bed and Breakfast nearby for a night or weekend
• A night in a downtown hotel in your city
• He chooses and plans

These are just few of the questions that I've been asked.  If you have more questions, please don't hesitate to ask!  My email address is on the "contact me" tab or you can leave a comment and I will get back to you!

And if you're just looking for a nice Valentine's Day gift that you don't have to plan for, I have some Date Night Jars in my shop...with the dates already in them!  Check them out!!

Thou Shalt Build a Winning Team

Well, today's the day.  It's the final day of our "10 Commandments Tuesday" series.  These past 10 weeks have been so good for me as I have been able to read and convey the principles of this book to you.  I hope that you have been able to take away something to practice in your own marriage.  This week's commandment is

Thou Shalt Build a Winning Team

"It is not good for man to be alone;  I will make a helper suitable for him."

Genesis 2:18

God intended for man and woman to join together and become "one flesh."  They are supposed to be united and on the same team.  So how do we build a winning team?  Well, here are some components for a winning marriage team:

1.  The Eternal Architect

God designed marriage.  He made it to be a perfect union.  However, sin has made a huge dent in that union and if not careful, can completely ruin it.  But knowing who the Architect is and following his instructions, we can still build a winning team.

2.  The Right Coach

Jesus is our coach who not only tells us what to do, but also shows us.  Ed says, "The staggering reality is that a husband and wife who have individually invited Christ into their lives "have the mind of Christ" (1 Corinthians 2:16).  All the treasures of Christ's mind are now in the spirit of the person in whom He dwells.  The issue is accessing what we already have and putting it to practical use."  The more we intimately walk with Christ, more of His wisdom and knowledge we'll gain.  The more His wisdom is gained, the more the relationship grows.

3.  The Players
"God has recruited us as players for His Kingdom's purposes.  When we allow Jesus Christ to be our Coach, He can take our most ordinary talents and abilities and do extraordinary things with them.  Without Christ on our side, we can do nothing.  But with Christ on our side, we have all the talent we need to build a winning marriage team."

4.  The Intangibles
Goal setting, commitment, discipline, togetherness are all examples of the necessary intangibles in marriage.  When you are working together on the same team, with the same goals in mind, you're strengthening your marriage.

5.  Fan Support
Encouragement is a necessity in marriage, whether it comes from family, friends, kids, coworkers, church family, etc.  These people are to help encourage you in your marriage.  They are to support you and to be there for you.  So it's important as you choose those friends in  life, to choose ones who will encourage and support you.  These people should also teach and minister God's Word.

Reflecting on Your Relationship:

1. If your marriage were indeed a college football team, where would it be ranked?
   -We're in the top five, vying for the championship.
   -We're in the top ten, thrown for a loss once in a while, but we're a winning team.
   -We win some, we lose some, but we could be a lot better.
   -We're losing more than we win; we don't let the Coach lead us in the day-to-day party of our marriage.
2. In what areas does your mate need some "coaching?"  What about you?
3. How does your family and friends provide "fan support" for your marriage?
4. What is the greatest strength of your marriage team?

I'm so glad you stuck with me through this 10 week series.  I hope you learned something that you can put into practice in your own marriage.  In what ways have you been challenged?  In what ways do you feel affirmed?  If you feel comfortable, would you share?

If you missed any part of the series, you can catch up here:

Part 1: Thou Shalt Not Be a Selfish Pig

Part 2: Thou Shalt Cut the Apron Strings

Part 3: Thou Shalt Continually Communicate

Part 4: Thou Shalt Make Conflict Thy Ally

Part 5:  Thou Shalt Avoid the Quicksand of Debt

Part 6: Thou Shalt Flee Sexual Temptation--Online and Otherwise

Part 7:  Thou Shalt Forgive Thy Mate--490 Times and More

Part 8:  Thou Shalt Keep the Home Fires Burning

Part 9:  Thou Shalt Begin Again and Again

Thou Shalt Begin Again and Again

Well, we're nearing the end of this series.  I've enjoyed reading this book and posting.  Have you?  What have you learned?  Are you putting anything into practice?  Well, if you haven't found anything to work on yet, try this one.  This week's commandment is

Thou Shalt Begin Again and Again

It's true.  50% of all marriages end in divorce.  That is a sad, sad, sad statistic.  But it's very real in today's society.  You either decide to work on your marriage, or you decide to give up on it.  Many people get married thinking that if it doesn't work out, they can always get out of it.  That if they disagree about something, they don't have to work it out.  Instead, they can just "make it go away."  That is not how God intended marriage to be.

But how do we stop this cycle?

Malachi 2:16 says,

"'I hate divorce,' says the Lord God of Israel, 'and I hate a man’s covering himself with violence as well as with his garment,' says the Lord Almighty.

So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith."

God hates divorce.  He says it right there.  But in today's society, it's the norm.  Is there something that we can do to prevent it?

Yes.

Give each other second chances.  And third chances, and fourths, and fifths, and so on.  God is a God of second chances, so why shouldn't we give each other more than one chance?  We are human.  We mess up.  We sure as heck aren't going to get marriage right on the first try. I am redeemed by Him.  He makes my imperfections, my hurt, my damaged heart into something new, fresh, and alive!  If He can do that with me, then I know He can do that with you.  And he can definitely do that with any marriage.

In the book, Ed gives 6 principles for beginning again and again.  I'd like to share them with you, if that's alright.

1.  Acceptance.

"Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God."  Romans 15:7

We are to accept one another, flaws and all.  After all, that's how Jesus accepted me.  He accepted all of me, unconditionally.  Sometimes this is a stretch.  But pray and ask God to help you accept your mate, just as they are.  God made them, and He made you.  He made us all in the image of Himself.  We must learn to accept one another as they are, unconditionally, because that's how Jesus accepts us.

2.  Attention.

"Now that you have purified yourselves by obeying the truth so that you have sincere love for your brothers, love one another deeply, from the heart."  

1 Peter 1:22

What would you have done in a dating relationship if your guy always wanted to hang out with his friends?  He only wanted to hang out with you on Fridays, but all the other days he wanted to hang with his friends.  You would have left because you didn't feel like he was giving you the attention you deserved, right?  Same here...giving your mate attention is like telling them you love them without actually saying those words.  There are so many ideas on how to pay attention to your mate:  compliment them, call them, buy them a gift, encourage them.  This might help you start at the beginning again and again.

3.  Adjustment.

"And be subject to one another in the fear of Christ."

Ephesians 5:21

Many people get married thinking that they can change their mate.  Uh, wrong!!  You can't change anyone.  But you can change yourself!  When you submit to one another, to each other's needs, wants, goals, desires, we'll have a happy marriage.  I've heard many a times, "I can't change...it's the way I am," THAT'S A LIE STRAIGHT FROM THE DEVIL HIMSELF.  Just keepin' it real, people.  You can change, and sometimes we have to pray and ask God to help us change.  To help us get over our selfishness and inflexibility.  When you have the right mindset, God will change your heart, and in turn it may change your spouse.

4.  Amnesty.

"Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you."

Ephesians 4:32

Forgiveness is one of the key ingredients to making a marriage work.  When you tell the other person that you forgive them (and really mean it), it means that you've canceled their debts and wrongdoings.  However, amnesty really means that you make the other person innocent of all their wrongdoings.  You let it go, like it never happened.  And if you're like me, this is a step that I have to begin again and again.

5.  Appreciation.

"Therefore encourage one another and build up one another, just as you also are doing."

1 Thessalonians 5:11

We have to encourage each other, and when encouragement happens, appreciation happens. But we also have to build one another up.  Our bodies are temples, and we must build each other up so that we have layers and layers of value in our temples.  Ed states, "Think of what happens when you buy and improve a piece of property.  It increases in value;  its value appreciates.  The same thing happens when we encourage and build up our mates."  We need to do this on a daily basis.

6.  Affection.

"The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband."

1 Corinthians 7:3

Affection is not meant for just a woman or just a man.  It's something that each person needs. However, the wife's need for affection is strong.  So strong, in fact, that if she doesn't receive it, it can be what causes an extramarital affair.  Affection is to a woman as sex is to a man.  But affection is what sets the "atmosphere" of the relationship, if you will.  It's important to meet each other's needs in this area.

Keep on, keepin' on.  When both partners are committed to each other forever, it's a beautiful thing.  I'm so thankful to have seen my grandparents and parents stay committed to each other.  My grandparents were married over 50 years, and my parents have almost been married 30 years.  Growing up, I always knew my parents would work things out.  Divorce wasn't a word that was allowed in our house.  I was glad to know that at an early age, so I didn't have to worry.  It's something that Tyler and I practice too.  We know that no matter what, we're committed to each other.  Forever.  Til death do us part.  But it's also a work-in-progress.  We have to always be bettering ourselves, working on ourselves, and working on our marriage.  You have to work at marriage, no matter who you married.  


Questions to reflect on this week:

1. What three things would you differently if you could start your marriage over?
2. Which of the six steps to "beginning again" does your marriage need the most?  Explain.
3. Would you consider your marriage warm and loving, hot and cold, or dry and barren?  In what ways?
4. Have you hugged your husband or wife today?

Missed a post?  You can catch up here:

Part 1: Thou Shalt Not Be a Selfish Pig

Part 2: Thou Shalt Cut the Apron Strings

Part 3: Thou Shalt Continually Communicate

Part 4: Thou Shalt Make Conflict Thy Ally

Part 5:  Thou Shalt Avoid the Quicksand of Debt

Part 6: Thou Shalt Flee Sexual Temptation--Online and Otherwise

Part 7:  Thou Shalt Forgive Thy Mate--490 Times and More

Part 8:  Thou Shalt Keep the Home Fires Burning

Thou Shalt Keep the Home Fires Burning

Well, after taking a break from our 10 Commandments Tuesday series, I'm back with week 7's chapter!   This week's commandment is

Thou Shalt Keep the Home Fires Burning.

This chapter discussed the stages of marriage that each couple goes through.  There are three stages that are discussed:

1.  The Honeymoon Stage--almost every couple goes through this stage.  Remember how it was when you first started dating your spouse?  You couldn't stay away from each other.  You had to see them every day.  They were perfect in your eyes.  At this stage, the fire is burning brightly.

2.  The Party's Over Stage--this stage happens when you realize that your significant other isn't perfect.  You have the opportunity to see the person for who he/she really is.  You don't have to be around them every waking moment, and they definitely aren't perfect.

In this stage, each couple must make a choice:  choose to stick it out, opt for divorce, do what it takes to make marriage happy and healthy.  

3.  The Best Is Yet to Be Stage--When you decide to make marriage happy and healthy, you get to this stage, which is supposedly the best of all {How would I know?  I've only been married for a year and a halfish}.  This is the stage of mature love.  The love withstands all odds.  Absolutely nothing can destroy this kind of love.

Mature love.  What is it?  Well, Ed gives some great examples that I'd like to share:

• Patient.  I put up with the imperfections of my mate.
• Kind.  I perform acts of kindness for the other person.
• Joyful with truth.  My love grows out of a base of honesty and integrity.
• Trusting.  I believe in the best from my spouse.
• Full of Home.  I hope for the best from and for my mate.
• Enduring.  My love lasts through even the toughest of times.

Mature love is not:

• Jealous.  Instead, it rests secure.
• Boastful.  Instead, it refrains from building itself up.
• Arrogant.  Instead, it humbles itself.
• Self-seeking.  Instead, it puts a spouse's need and desires first.
• Angry.  Instead, it refrains from rash outbursts.
• Looking for paybacks.  Instead, it forgives, even when treated wrongly.

Most of all...love never fails.  Always there to support your spouse.

Here are three tips on working toward a mature love {read the book for a more details}:

1. Speak Blessings.

2. Open up and Confess.

3. Change yourself, not your mate.

I think these three things need to be worked on, no matter the person.  Sometimes we can get wrapped up in the mundane day-to-day things and we forget.  All we want to do is what is on our to-do list so that we can relax.  Making an effort in your marriage will bless it, even if that means taking 10 minutes out of every day and telling your spouse what you admire about them, talking with them, or reading the Bible together.

This chapter is really good, and I highly recommend reading it so that you can get the full effect from it.

Also, to become mature, be...

Motivated

Attentive

Tender

Understanding

Respectful

Excited

Questions for this week:

1. How important is it to you to "work" in making your marriage a happy, passionate, loving one?  Explain.
2. In what stage of marriage are you today?  What steps do you need to take to move on to the next stage?
3. Do you consider your marriage a loving, passionate one now?  Explain.  What can you do to make it so?
4. In what areas of MATURE love are you strong?  Explain.  Where are you weak, and what can you do about it, starting today?

It's been a couple weeks, but if you missed a post, you can catch up here:

Part 1: Thou Shalt Not Be a Selfish Pig

Part 2: Thou Shalt Cut the Apron Strings

Part 3: Thou Shalt Continually Communicate

Part 4: Thou Shalt Make Conflict Thy Ally

Part 5:  Thou Shalt Avoid the Quicksand of Debt

Part 6: Thou Shalt Flee Sexual Temptation--Online and Otherwise

Part 7:  Thou Shalt Forgive Thy Mate--490 Times and More