Henry's Birth Story

On Monday, August 12^th, I went in for my 39-week appointment.  My doctor asked me if she had done a membrane sweep the last week, to which I replied, “No.” She asked me if I wanted it done, and I said, “Go ahead. We’re ready to meet this baby.”

I had only heard about this, but knew that it could possibly get labor started. We were two days away from his due date, so I wasn’t worried about anything.  At this point, I was still only 1 cm and 70% effaced.

The next day, I went to Aldi to get some groceries. I really didn’t know if I should be planning anything elaborate, but let’s just be honest…the last few months of pregnancy left me unmotivated in the kitchen.  I did buy a lot of things that had a long shelf-life, so I knew that if I did go into labor, the food would still be good.

That afternoon, I realized that I needed to text Kaitlin, our doula, to let her know my progress.  That was around 4 pm on Tuesday, and about 15 minutes later, the contractions started.  I was laying on the couch and realized that I had a couple contractions within a good amount of time.  I decided to start timing them.

At 4:47 pm, I texted Tyler to let him know that I was having contractions.  But I told him not to get too excited because they were 11-12 minutes apart.  Around 6:40 pm, I sent another text to Kaitlin, letting her know that I was having contractions and they were about 7-minutes apart.  She told me to rest up—which I had planned to do in early labor.

Resting was difficult.  I continued to sit on the couch, and then I eventually moved to my bed in hopes to get a little bit of sleep.  However, sleep didn’t come.  I moved back out to the couch so that Tyler could get some sleep, although, I’m not sure how much he got either.  My contractions were 8-10 minutes apart all night at a minute long.

Tyler took the day off, and his work decided that he was going to start his leave on that day. They cut all his communication. So he was stuck at home with his laboring wife. HA! I knew that I still needed to take my 40-week pregnancy picture, so I had him take it, which I'm sure was comical. We had to wait through a couple of contractions to finally get one that didn't look like I was in pain.  

I texted Kaitlin back and forth all day.  She was such a wealth of knowledge, and it was comforting to know that she was there to help us as needed.

She was going to come over to the house when my contractions were about 5:14 apart, but then they slowed again to 7-minutes. It was like that all day long.  They’d speed up, then slow down. She gave me a little workout circuit to try, and I got a little relief from the pain, but not a ton.

In the early afternoon, they really started to get painful. Like really painful. I was having to close my eyes, grit my teeth, cry, kick and scream…whatever it took to get through them.  Kaitlin was there for the ride…encouraging me and supporting me along the way.

She called me around 5:15 that evening to see how I was doing and how I was getting through the contractions.  She told me to give it a couple more hours before we head to the hospital.  Honestly, I didn’t know if I’d make it a couple more hours.  I had been walking around my kitchen and living room for hours just to cope.

I texted her around 6:15 and told her we were getting ready to head to the hospital.  I wasn’t sure how much more I could take.  The contractions were SO strong and some of them were 2-minutes long.

The ride to the hospital was awful.  I’m so thankful it was only 10-minutes away. I had to literally lay my seat back to get through some of the contractions—sitting was so difficult.  When we got to the hospital, Tyler dropped me off at the front door. I went and checked in.  They had me give a urine sample, and while trying to do so, I had THREE contractions. The nurse had to knock on the door to make sure I was okay. Evidently, they’ve had women try to give birth in there.  I would have found that funny, but I was in a lot of pain.

They hooked me up to the NST machine to watch my contractions, progression, and the baby’s heart rate. I had some of the worst contractions while sitting on that bed.  I was only 3 cm dilated, which was somewhat discouraging. Tyler was texting with Kaitlin at this point, and she thought they would just send me home.

I was literally praying that I would be admitted because if they sent me home, I wasn’t sure how I was going to get through the pain.  God answered my prayer because Henry’s heart rate kept dipping and they weren’t sure what it was.  They kept monitoring me, and during the awful contractions, his heart rate continued to dip.  They weren’t sure if it was because his head was being squeezed or if it was the placenta malfunctioning. They checked me again, and as they did, it sent me into another horrible contraction.

They called in the on-call doctor (by the way, my doctor’s office is on the second floor of the women’s hospital, so I knew there would be someone there), and she started talking gibberish at this point. I honestly didn’t know what she was saying, but the words “induce,” “Pitocin,” and “emergency c-section” were all mentioned. I know that she just had to cover all her bases, but it was somewhat scary.

Kaitlin had arrived at the hospital at that point. She was the only one who had a good head on her shoulders and could understand what was going on.  At one point, Tyler had left the room and it was just Kaitlin and me. She knew that our plan was to have the baby and then call our parents after he had arrived. I was in tears at this point and she asked me if she thought we should call our parents and let them know what was going on. I told her that there were a couple of points that I did just want my mom.

Tyler got back to the room, and they decided to admit me. We walked over to my labor and delivery room, and the nurse was getting me hooked up to the machines again.  Another nurse was in there, trying to start my IV, but apparently, I have small veins. Who knew? She stuck me 4 or 5 times just trying to get the IV in. I’ve never been stuck that many times before, but I’ve also never had to be in the hospital. I do give blood regularly, and I have never had any problem with them sticking me in the arm, but trying to get it in my hand was a different story. She ended up putting the IV in my arm for the night.

Around 12:30 am, Kaitlin, Tyler, and I were all discussing my options to get an epidural. I was 90% sure going into this birth that I would be getting it.  At this point, I was 300% positive that I needed it. So Kaitlin asked for me, as I was literally giving it all I could to get through my contractions. The anesthesiologist came in around 1:30 am and took his sweet time putting it in.  However, as soon as he got it in, I had immediate relief.

Once the commotion died down in my room, Kaitlin told me to rest. She was telling me that she thought getting an epidural would allow my body to rest and do what it’s supposed to do. She went home to get a little bit of sleep and to be able to take her kiddo to school the next morning. Tyler and I were able to get some small naps here and there.  The nurse kept coming it to try to reposition me, and let me tell you—it is SO weird not to be able to feel your legs. She literally had to push me over to get me to change sides.

But our little Herbie was a stinker. He did NOT like the different positions he was being put in. He only liked it when I was laying on my right side.  At one point, the nurse came back in because his heart rate kept dipping and they couldn’t figure out why. But I was still oblivious to how serious this could have been.

At 7 am, the nurse came in with a doctor—not my doctor. This doctor explained that my doctor usually takes Thursday mornings to be with her boys at home and she rounds on my doctor’s patients. She also explained that my doctor does this with her patients on a different day. I thought that was kind!

The nurse checked me once again, and I was finally 100% effaced and dilated to a 6! Hallelujah! My body was doing exactly what it needed to be doing! The doctor broke my water, and Tyler texted Kaitlin to let her know what was going on! She responded pretty excitedly!

Kaitlin got back to the hospital around 8:30 that morning, and we were just playing the waiting game. They were still trying to position me differently, but Herbie wasn’t liking it. So I continued to lay on my right side.

Around 10, the nurse checked me again and she surprisingly said I was at a 9.  Everyone was very excited, because they thought that they would need to start me on Pitocin that morning. Thankfully, I didn’t need it.

The nurse started to make preparations, and so many thoughts were going through my mind. I couldn’t believe that this moment was already here.  At this point, Tyler went inside his shell. He knew what was coming, so he found a chair by my head and sat in it.

When I was 10 cm, the nurse had me start pushing. Kaitlin was such a wonderful cheerleader, giving me tips along the way. I mean, I had no idea what I was doing. I pushed for 20 minutes or so, and then the nurse called all of the people that needed to be in the room to prepare for our birth. She even got ahold of my doctor who did indeed make it in time to deliver Henry.

At 12:05 pm of August 15th, after just about 44 hours of labor and 45 minutes of pushing, our little Henry Calvin was born.  I will never forget the moment I looked into his eyes. I literally couldn’t say anything and just started crying.  I looked over at Tyler and he also had tears in his eyes.  We had done it. Henry was here. I got to cut the cord, which was so cool. And Tyler announced his name to the entire room, since we hadn’t shared it with anyone.

It was fun to call our parents and siblings to share the news. Our parents made the trek down, and my best friend (who's also my sister from another mister) came as a surprise to us! I was so glad to have her there. <3 

Diane was sick that day, so I don't have a picture of her with Henry at the hospital.

Going home!

He was so tiny in his carseat!

Introducing Scout to his new brother!

Kaitlin, our doula, came over about a week after Henry was born for a little postpartum meeting. I was so thankful for her, and I will definitely hire her again for our next kiddo! 

We love our little Henry so much!!

The Miracle of Life

When I share my miracle baby story with others, I feel like they think I've lied to them. But that isn't the case...I just haven't truly been 100% transparent because this is a journey that's so private, and I have a lot of hurting friends.  But God is a BIG God, and He truly deserves ALL the praise in this story, so I'm sharing today in hopes that I can encourage you.


When I was 15 years old, I was formally diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome or PCOS for short.  I was told that it would be difficult to get pregnant.  I was told that I could go on birth control to regulate my cycle and metformin to control my weight and all sorts of other medication to help where needed.

At 15, I didn't care.  I didn't do anything to help my body.  At 18, after I graduated high school, I made the decision with my parents to go on birth control so that I could live a somewhat normal life at college.  Ten years later, I took myself off of it with no intention of getting pregnant.  I just knew it was making me crazy...and it was.  But that's a story for a different day.

In April 2013, I started my health and fitness journey. I knew I needed to lose the "married weight" that I had gained, and it was then that I started really digging into PCOS and what it meant for my life.  I knew that one day I would want to have a family...even though the thought of having kids scared the crap out of me.  I knew that I would need to change my lifestyle in order for it to happen.

I really dug into the research of PCOS:

• Women with PCOS have a higher risk of miscarriage.
• PCOS is the number one reason for infertility.
• In pregnancy, women with PCOS have a higher risk for gestational diabetes, larger babies, and preterm birth.
• Women with PCOS have a higher risk for Type 2 diabetes, metabolic syndrome, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, depression, sleep apnea, anxiety, endometrial cancer, and so much more.

Okay...great. So having a family was probably going to be difficult.  But I continued to research and I learned that I could control so many different factors if I just watched my diet and I exercised. If you've been following me on social media for very long or you know me in real life, you know that my eating has been a source of pain in my life.

From restriction and deprivation to binge eating to restriction and deprivation to binge eating...the cycle went around and around and around. I couldn't get off that carousel of disastrous behavior.  About a year ago, a food freedom course was released that I decided to take.  It was kind of like a class with some videos that I watched and really learned the why and how behind the program. I then implemented right away.  I was still so skeptical because I was allowed to eat things that I had been restricting and depriving myself of.  But I kept going with the program.

I was on the road to healing myself of so many mental aspects of the deprivation and restriction. I was on the road to healing my body.  I was on the road to leveling my hormones out.  I was on the road to feeling the best I have ever felt...inside and out.

In November 2018, I turned 30 years old.  As I got closer to that number, I realized that it may be time to start trying to have a family.  After all, I had no idea how long it would take because of all the statistics stacked against me.  We hadn't really wanted kids before...and if I'm being completely honest, I haven't had that longing to be a mom my entire life like so many women do.

**Before I share the next few things, please let me say that I am not against modern medicine. It's a great thing sometimes.  It's needed sometimes.  I am not looking down on anyone who chooses to go a different route than I have. This is simply my story.

But I knew this:  I did not want to go on any medication.  I had researched the various medications that can be used to help women conceive.  I had researched the medications that help women lose weight.  To me, the side effects were not worth it.  I also knew that adoption has never been off the table for us.  When Tyler and I were dating and getting a little more serious, I told him that I didn't know if I'd be able to get pregnant.  Thankfully, that wasn't an issue for him, but we talked a lot about adoption.  I also told him that IVF wasn't an option for me.

So back to the story...I have never missed a yearly appointment with my OBGYN.  That's the only doctor that I've ever seen on a regular basis.  I wanted to be sure that I listened to what she has had to say, any advice she could give, and for a long time, I just needed to go so that I could renew my birth control prescription.

She has always asked if we were ready to get pregnant and the answer was always "NO!!!" until October 2018.  I told her that my upcoming birthday was definitely making us consider it.  Can I just say that she has been one of the most encouraging doctors that I've ever had?!  She has never once talked to me about my weight. She has never once considered that PCOS might just be a huge hindrance in getting pregnant. She wasn't concerned about my age. She was not negative at all.  She simply said, "We don't call it infertility until you've been trying for over a year. So have fun with it."  She ordered some baseline bloodwork for me so that we would know where all my hormone levels were at, and that was it.

At this point in time, I had regulated my cycles to about every 74-76 days (this was coming from months and months and months of no natural cycle).  It had been consistent for several months, so I knew that if we started trying after my doctor's appointment, it would probably be about January before I'd need to take a pregnancy test.

I put off my bloodwork for about 6 or 7 weeks.  I was mainly just worried about my HA1C levels.  I wanted to get a few more weeks of good, healthy eating in before I went to get it done.  The day before I decided to get get my bloodwork done, I took 4 pregnancy tests...which all came back positive.

Complete shock is the feeling that came over me.  I knew on that Thursday morning that I would need to go get my bloodwork done...so I went the next day.  The next Monday, I had a call from my doctor...confirming my 4 home pregnancy tests.  I think she was as shocked as I was!

At my pregnancy confirmation appointment, I met with the NP who had looked over my chart.  She simply laughed and reminded me of how great a story I had.  She wasn't wrong, but it took several months to grasp what God had done.

HE did this.  I may have learned how to treat my body and honor Him with it, but HE was the One who answered my deepest desires.  And He is the One who continues to answer my prayers...the fact that I've been able to carry our Little Cheerio for 28 weeks so far and the fact that I passed the Gestational Diabetes test...and I didn't just pass.  I passed on the first time with 10 points to spare.

Can I just say that in all the glucose tests I've had before...none of them have come back in the normal range? They've all been slightly elevated. Yet...God answered.  He answered and He proved me wrong.

Science is a good thing.  It helps us understand sometimes.  But God is greater than science.  He is bigger than the statistics.  This little miracle of life has proven that to me time and again.

I want to continue sharing my journey...and I will.  It may take a few days, but I want to share my pregnancy experience with you.  But I felt that I needed to share the honest story on how God has worked in our lives and how Little Cheerio came to be.

The Lord is good.  He's good even when things don't work out the way we want them to.  He's good in the midst of struggle and heartache.  He is good when the prayer is answered.  He is good.  Trust in Him, friends. <3

Four Years of Missing You

Prior to Tuesday, May 19, 2015, I was so hopeful for that year.  But that morning, I got a text message that shocked me to my core.  Granny had a stroke.  A couple of hours later, I got a phone call telling me that I should come home...there probably wasn't much time.

Alone in my car for five hours as I drove across the state of Missouri, I had a while to think.  I thought of every good thing about my Granny...how she loved others, how she cared for others, how she never thought twice about doing kind things for others.  She was a servant.  I thought a lot about my own life.  Where was it going?  What good thing did I have going?  My relationship with Jesus was more of an SOS-relationship.  I called on Him when I needed Him.

At that point, my mom had been inviting me to BSF (Bible Study Fellowship). Although we lived hours apart, the study was offered in St. Louis...in several different locations.  I had looked into it, but I never jumped at the chance to go.  She continued to invite me for four years.

I remember so vividly making a decision in my car that I was going to turn my life around...quit living for myself...and I was going to work on my relationship with Jesus.  I made a commitment that day to seek out a BSF class.  Unfortunately, BSF is on a schedule that coincides with the school schedule.  So they had already let out for summer break, and I had to wait until September to join.

I got to the hospital with time to spare, because she was still talking.  Her eyes were closed, but she was talking.  Her speech was slurred because half of her body was paralyzed, but she knew who I was and she automatically asked about Tyler.  He was in Detroit that week for work and wasn't with me. I talked to her. I held her hand.  I don't know how much longer it was before she didn't respond...it may have been a few hours.

My family is large.  We are weird.  We do things differently.  But we love Jesus.  The majority of us got to be there with her at the hospital...in her room...for days.  The staff at the local hospital was very kind to us in allowing us ALL to be there.  I grew up in a small town, so most of the staff knew us anyway.  But that's one thing I won't forget in all of this...the kindness they showed to us.

Granny taught little kids at church.  In fact, the Sunday prior, she was teaching.  She also taught a Sunday School for adults with mental disabilities.  She loved singing with her kids and adults.  She loved to sing with her grandkids.

Remember how I said we are weird?  One of the first holidays that Tyler spent with my extended family, a sheet of paper was passed out with music on it.  We gathered in a circle and sang before we prayed for the meal.  I'm surprised he's still around, in all honesty!! :)

So while Granny was in the hospital, we sang to her...hymns, children's songs, our family song...we even wrote the words to her favorite hymn on the hospital board. :)  I told you...we are weird.

We didn't know what to expect. We didn't know when Jesus would call her home.  So that evening, we all prayed together before we left the hospital.  We said our "see ya laters," and we headed home for some sleep.

It was a long few days.  On Thursday, my husband finally had made his trip to me.  He arrived at Granny's house at the same time the ambulance brought Granny home.  Granny absolutely hated hospitals and doctors.  We knew that she would rather be at home.  So we got permission to bring her home with the care of a hospice nurse.

We gathered in her home with no care of how quiet we should have been.  Granny loved her crazy family, and she would have loved having us all there.  Unfortunately, it was a party to send her Home.  The girls were celebrating awaiting her Homecoming with a tea party...which she also would have loved so very much.

On Friday, May 22, 2015, shortly after sunrise (her favorite time of day), Jesus called her Home.  I was truly so happy that she was no longer suffering here. But in the months to come, I was literally heartbroken.

Fall of 2015, I joined my first study in BSF.  That year, we were studying Revelation.  If you're not familiar with BSF, it is a very in-depth study.  I had no clue what I had gotten myself into.  Fast forward to December and we moved to Oklahoma City.  I knew that I wanted to finish out the study because it was so good.  I joined a class here, and I'm so glad I did!

As I look back on what Revelation taught me...it's that Granny was in heaven with her Savior.  As much as she loved her family, she loved her Jesus more.  She wouldn't want to come back here after meeting Him.  I was okay with that.

Finding Food Freedom

I'm BAAACCCCKKK!!!!

After taking many months away from the health and wellness industry, I am back.  God called me into a season of rest back in August/September.  As I look back on the journey, I had no clue what He had planned for me. He used this time of rest to show me the many idols that I had placed in front of Him...including food. Food was all I could think about, and I was struggling with admitting it to the group of women that I was supposed to be leading.  What kind of leader is that?!

God is gracious. He is kind.  After many months of being in my personal coach's GRACEcamp and surrendering my food and thoughts to Him daily, I have been freed from the shackles that I was once wearing.  God doesn't want us to live in bondage. He came so that we may have LIFE. Jesus died for our FREEDOM.  Why do we act like we are still slaves to sin?

It is time to LIVE in our FREEDOM!!

With that said, I am SO excited to be opening up my VERY first GRACEcamp in April!  We will be focusing on the food freedom course that I have been doing and working through.  To be honest, I loved this course so much that I became a certified mentor for the program.  It's truly incredible.  Here's a little bit more about the program:

If you have followed me for any period of time, you know that I have struggled with food restriction, binge eating, and emotional eating.  It's no secret that when it comes to my health and fitness journey, I really stink at the nutrition aspect of it.

I am so excited to share that for the first time, my company has designed a "nutrition first" program. Exercise is just extra credit! This program is designed to help you get a handle on your eating habits.  There is no counting calories.  No measuring food.  No using food containers. No cutting out food groups. No deprivation or starving. The best part?  You can follow this program even when you're out on a date at a restaurant, on vacation, or at a party!

It's a solution that's effective because it was created by a woman who understands.  Not only did she lose 100 lbs on this program, she became a registered dietitian nutritionist so that she could help others lose the weight and win the weight loss war.

Ilana figured out how to eat large amounts of food and lose weight and keep it off at the same time.  She figured out that it was all in her mindset.  The system that she created allows you to feel full and satisfied while giving you strategies that can help you in real-world situations such as eating out, traveling, cravings, and more!

This is not a diet.  It's a mindset shift.

What’s the best part about this weight loss program?

The 2B Mindset is simple to follow. You will learn simple strategies to get you drinking more water, enjoying wholesome food and simple ways to prepare them. And it will shatter the myth that the bathroom scale is your enemy. It's Simple. Enjoyable. Sustainable. 

Who is the 2B Mindset for?

• Anyone who wants to lose weight — happily — so they can keep it off for good!
• Those frustrated with the deprivation of traditional diets.
• People overwhelmed with all the weight-loss products/info out there.
• Anyone challenged by junk-food cravings.
• Those for whom other diets have not been successful in the past.
• Those who feel guilt or shame when overeating.
• Those who love to eat food,
• People who love to travel but don't know how to stay on track.
• Anyone who doesn't like or want to workout.
• Those who love to workout but struggle with food.
• People who aren't seeing results with just exercise.
• Those who struggle with:
• Yo-Yo dieting
• Emotional eating
• Sugar addiction
• Scale obsession
• Portion control
• Motivation to workout

When can I enroll?

I am always enrolling new clients for this program!  It's an ongoing nutritional plan that doesn't have a start and end date.  If you would like to be considered for the group, please fill out this contact form so that I can get in touch with you!

Member Benefits:

• The 2B Mindset Program
• Grocery Shopping Tips
• Weekly Meal Ideas
• First month of nutrient-dense superfoods that support your goals
• One-year subscription to Beth's Netflix of Fitness
• Accountability within our ladies-only community
• Beth as your coach
• *All packages come with a 30-day money back guarantee.

What's Included:

• 41 videos in the 2B Mindset Program
• 21 videos to teach you the basic principles of the program, including education on food groups, what to eat and when, and real-life strategies for every eating situation (such as eating at restaurants, at parties, while on a trip, for vegans/vegetarians, etc).
• 5 videos to overcome common weight loss struggles and gives advice on weight loss challenges.
• 15 recipe videos that show you have to cook time-saving, delicious, easy, and satisfying meals in no time.
• PLUS videos on how to adapt the program to need-specific lifestyles such as vegetarian, vegan, and even pregnancy!
• PLUS there are 6 extra videos in the library that offer more in-depth training on some of the principles.
• The Getting Started Guide provides step-by-step instructions on how to get started.
• My Go-To Guide accompanies the videos and highlights key takeaways, recaps the food lists, features grocery shopping lists, and more.
• 2B Mindset Recipes which includes over 30 of Illana's favorites.
• My Tracker, which has room for 90 days of meal and progress tracking, and other key indicators that play a role in helping you achieve your weight loss goals.
• A 30 oz water bottle that has motivational reminders on it to help keep you on track daily.

Would you like to be considered for my April Finding Food Freedom workshop?  Make sure you click the application HERE and apply.  I will connect with you and see what options match your goals and financial season so that we can get you started on your journey to food freedom!