St. Louis: The City that Grew Me

In 2013, I was living in St. Louis and I came across a post about some fitness thing. I inquired about it, but only because I had started my journey just 4 months prior. I was curious. I asked a lot of questions. I ordered what I thought was an over-priced shake. I bought a home workout dvd…was I really going to be doing Richard Simmons or Jane Fonda style workouts in my second floor apartment?

A couple months later, we bought our first home across town and I had a basement to workout in. TurboFire became my soulmate workout, and it evolved from there.

Today, my thoughts about the products I use is VASTLY different from when I started. And my thoughts about the town that I left just a few years later are vastly different, too.

This weekend, I went back to STL for our annual Team Beachbody Coach Summit. Not only did the Lord reveal Himself through things of this little hobby of mine, but He showed up BIG in my thoughts and feelings surrounding this city.

STL holds a lot of difficult memories for me. We moved there 10 years ago when I was a brand new wife, fresh outta college, knowing no one. I didn’t even know who I was. My husband wanted to work at the corporate office, so moving to OKC was always in the back of my mind. We didn’t plant many roots. He climbed the ladder and traveled every week for work. It was a strain on our relationship. In 2015, I lost my Granny and didn’t know how to process that or grieve. My life felt outta control. When we had 18 hours to make the decision to move to OKC at the end of 2015, it was a “heck yes! Get me out of here, but I also want to do what God is calling us to do” type of decision.

For many years after that, I didn’t even want to think about our time in STL. I wanted to run away from it. I had icky feelings for a LONG time. But each time I go back there, He reveals something to me.

Last year, I had the opportunity to go see a friend who adopted her daughter. A lot of healing happened that trip as I drove around town looking at the places we lived. I drove the once-familiar roads that seemed so foreign to me. I remembered things that I had blocked out of my memories. It was a good trip. A celebratory one that turned into a healing trip.

So this time when I went, I wasn’t expecting a whole lot of anything. But as I drove into the city, the familiar landmarks that once triggered a “we are ___many minutes from being home,” became strange to me. And I realized that the 417 will always feel like home to me.

But this time, God showed me that I needed St. Louis in my story. If it weren’t for my time in STL, I wouldn’t have the relationship with Him that I do now. If it weren’t for my time in STL, I wouldn’t have discovered my identity in Him. If it weren’t for my time in STL, I wouldn’t be the girl I am today, and I wouldn’t be living in Joplin (which still blows my mind…but that’s another story for another day. Sure, God could have used other circumstances to grow me and bring me closer to Him. But He didn’t. He used 4 short years in St. Louis. It was the city that grew me.

I still have difficult memories that I have to work through. But God uses all things for my good and His glory. He may not reveal everything about why we were there…but I believe that He has used it for my good. And He really does get the glory for that.

Instead of thinking of all the bad, I can now look back on that blip in time with fond memories, knowing that the people we met are what is good. So thank you, St. Louis, for being a part of my story…a part of our story.