Journey to Jesus

One of the most important things in my life is my relationship with Christ.  Unfortunately, it has not always been that way.  I grew up in a loving home with conversation flowing about the Lord.  I have always known Jesus.  But I have not always had a close relationship with Him.

My own fitness journey started almost four years ago, but it was not focused around Christ at all.  I had more of an attitude of: “I can do this on my own.”  Even when I did need Him, I held Him at an arm’s length, never really letting Him into my journey.  At the time, I had such a "worldly" mindset about physical appearance, never taking a Biblical approach.

Fast forward to a couple of years ago.  My husband was gone every week, traveling for work.  I was home with my dog and feeling pretty lonely.  I did not have a ton of friends, and the ones that I did have were busy with their own lives when I tried to invite them over.  I had never been so lonely in my life.  It was a very trying time for me.

I would call my mom, crying because I was so lonely. I hated my life and what it had become.  I missed my husband, who seemed to be absent, even when he was home.  I didn’t know how to live life like this.

In May 2015, I lost my Granny.  She was my last living grandparent, and I truly had no idea how my life would change after her death.  It was on the five-hour drive to my hometown to see her in the hospital that I knew I had to get my life together.  I was just barely getting my relationship with Jesus back on track.  But it was in her death that I knew I needed to get my act together. I knew I needed Him more than ever.

In those days, weeks, and months later, I had a rough time grieving the loss that she left in my life.  Living so far away, it was easy to “forget” that she was gone.  But coming home to visit family was a whole other reality.

I remember being at a women’s weekend with my mom in November 2015. I was listening to the speakers and the truth that God was pouring into my life was changing my heart.  I needed my husband.  I needed him to be home.  But that was not my reality. I knew I had to be patient.  I somehow also needed to be able to grieve for Granny.  I had no one to talk to…no one to ask how I was doing.  I was simply broken.  Honestly, I really feel that I had hit rock bottom--spiritually and emotionally.

Then in December, I heard the words that I guess I needed to hear…”We’re moving.”  I was excited about the possibilities and hopeful for the future.  My husband would no longer be traveling—he would be home with me every night!

In 2016, I made it my year to heal. I needed my heart to heal. I needed my body to heal. I had been unkind to my body, and I did not follow any sort of meal or nutrition plan as I grieved.  Unfortunately, in that time, I gained all the weight back that I had lost.  I had also been unkind to my heart, as I did not give myself grace or time to grieve in the way that I needed to.

I realized that the piece that I was missing all along was --> Jesus.

>>>hashtag duh<<<

The first step that I knew I needed to take was to make sure that I had daily time with God.  I made sure to read my Bible each day, pray, and to apply what I was learning in my life.  I was also diving into some personal development books based on different topics that I needed.

I knew that I had to start back at square one with my health.  But this time, I knew I needed to include what I had been learning.  I had to include God on this journey, because He is the reason why I was on this journey in the first place.

Over the next few days and weeks, I want to share with you how Jesus has changed my mindset and the process that I've gone through.  There are six different phases that I have been through, and I am excited to finally be sharing with you exactly how my journey to Jesus has deepened my faith!

If you enjoyed this post, please share it or leave a comment! If you're needing some encouragement on your own spiritual journey or are looking for ideas on how to begin or continue with your own Bible study, join The Core!

The Hardest Year of My Life

This is probably going to be an uncomfortable post to write.  But I feel that it needs to be shared. Actually, I have been wanting to share it for quite some time, but I just did not know how to put into words what I have been feeling. 

I first started my health and fitness journey in April 2013. In 2014, I found the Whole30 program, and it really did change my life.  I eliminated grains, dairy, sugar, legumes, processed foods, and alcohol for 30 days.  I felt the best I ever have, and a positive side effect from it was a healthy 13.4 pound weightloss.  In my mind, I had just done the hardest thing ever.

My before pic Whole30 vs my after Whole30

Going into 2015, I was excited to see where this journey would take me. I had lost a total of 24 pounds and was on my way to being at my goal weight.  I was focused on eating healthy.  I completed another round of Whole30 in January 2015, and started my third round in May.  I felt confident.  I was seeing results in my clothes.  I was happy with where my journey was taking me. 

I took "progress pics" regularly. I felt very confident on the day that I took this pic.

Then in May 2015, my Granny passed away. At the time, my husband was also traveling each week for his job, and I had not settled well in St. Louis.  We had lived there a couple of years, but I had never found where I fit in exactly.  After Granny passed away, I went into a depression and began to comfort myself with food, eventually gaining all my weight back. This quickly became the hardest thing ever. 

July 2015--first selfie I took since Granny passed away.

 I had not realized that I was making excuses, as I was just coping with the loss the best I knew how.  It was difficult to make this journey on my own, especially while grieving a huge loss in my life.

September--the weight was still coming on and I was clueless (and I didn't really care).

To top it off, in December 2015, we made a decision in less than 24 hours to move to a different state.  We sold our house within a week and moved during the holidays. What a stressful ending to the year!  So needless to say, I was not paying attention to what I was eating or even prioritizing my workouts. I was focused on getting my husband back and getting us moved to our new state. 

I ended the year at my heaviest weight ever.

The new year came and I was feeling a million different things.  I knew that I wanted to make my health a priority again.  But I felt that I kept falling off the wagon or that I could not follow any certain way of eating.

The year of 2016 was a complete struggle for me as I dealt with the unchartered territory of emotional eating and binge eating. I struggled the entire year. I had made my fitness a priority, but my nutrition was on the back burner. You can NOT outrun a bad diet.  It was early summer when I finally made a facebook post about my binging.  I was ashamed. I was embarrassed.  But my post was received with love, which I am so grateful for.

Being in the health and fitness industry, there are many other people doing the same thing that I am doing.  I had started following a woman on social media who is also a coach within the same company.  I was hearing her tell her story every day over snap chat stories.  She had shared that she had once lost weight, but over the past couple years, she slowly gained it back.  She knew she needed to get her nutrition back on track.  And I hung on every word, because she was telling my story.

I met her this past summer.  I got to tell her how her story had encouraged me and inspired me.  I literally cried on her shoulder because she had made me realize that I was not alone.  She had lost the weight, and she encouraged me that I could do it as well.  I felt empowered in that moment.  I just needed someone to empathize with me, perhaps.

Meeting Lori, my own inspiration

I got home from that trip, and I started that program that Lori had done to lose her weight.  But my mindset was still not right.  I completed the program, had more results than I thought I would have, but then shortly after, I had my wisdom teeth out.  That kept me out of my workouts for about two weeks.  In that amount of time, I had to get real with myself.  I decided that it was time.  It was time for me to get my act together.  I had struggled with my nutrition for so long that I knew I needed to get it figured out.  So I decided to do something that literally scared the crap out of me.

In October, I committed to completing my longest fitness program yet. It was 14 weeks long, and I was not sure what I was in for.  It was a program from the creator of Insanity.  I think that I was mainly scared of being committed to something for that length of time.  I already knew the program would be difficult, but I also knew I needed it at the same time.  But I could commit to 25 minutes a day.

This past Friday, I marked the last day, day 96, off my calendar. It was emotional as I finished up, and I could not help but burst into tears because I was so extremely proud of myself. I have been focused on my nutrition these last 14 weeks, and I am excited about where I am headed.

I knew that I needed to write this post...because I needed to be able to look back on my own journey.  I needed to see how far I have come.  Yes, it really stinks that I have not reached my goals yet, when I have been at this for a long time.  But also, it makes me appreciate the journey a lot more because I struggled and I overcame.

As I was looking for pictures to use for this post, I put them all into a folder on my computer.  Then I went through them, and I allowed myself to feel the emotion as I looked at them.  I started out super excited, and then I got emotional because I knew where each picture was taken.  And then I put them all side-by-side so I could see it play out before my own eyes, and I could not believe what I saw.

The picture on the left holds a huge memory for me. As I mentioned previously, it was taken and posted on my Instagram account back in 2014, and someone had commented about how thin I was. That was huge, because I have been overweight my entire life. So when I was wearing the same shirt last week, I had to take an updated picture. When I put them side-by-side, I was completely blown away because I feel like I am finally back on track.

I worked HARD this past year. I am still working hard...just because I feel like I am back on track does not mean I can slack off.  I am still overcoming the thoughts of binging.  I am overcoming the thoughts of emotional and boredom eating.  I am overcoming every negative thought I ever had about myself.  But I am in a much better emotional state.

I fought my own excuses, injuries, PCOS, and attitude...and here I am. I am stronger for it! I have learned some hard lessons.  But this journey is absolutely worth it.  It may not be pretty all the time, but it is so worth it.

Here is to 2017!  I know that it will be the best year yet because I say it will be!  I will be in the trenches, fighting for my health.  This is no longer about being skinny.  This is about being the woman that God created me to be.  I was made for MORE than worrying about the number on the scale.  I was made for MORE than worrying about every little calorie that I put into my body. I was made for MORE than my excuses.  I was made for MORE than the binging cycles I put myself through.  I was made for GREATNESS.  I was made for VICTORY!

...and you....You were made for more, too. <3

Let's Start at the Beginning

 

Hi. I'm Beth, also known as The Fitness Princess.  I love Jesus, my husband, Cinderella, butterflies, puppies, reading,  and all things *sparkly.*  If you are new here, welcome!  I hope to offer you tons of resources to help you on your health and wellness journey. It has been awhile since I have blogged last, and I miss it terribly.  I want to get back to it, so here I am!  I have a lot I want to share with you, but first, we must start at the beginning. I want to share my story with you, so you know where I have come from.

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I was always the "bigger girl" growing up. I was not fat and I was not skinny, but I was built differently than the other girls.  I was still very active in sports, especially cheerleading.  Because of being bigger, I was so self-conscious.  We had to wear these uncomfortable outfits that always made me aware of how I felt.  I was always pulling something down or pulling it up. The word "fat" was always so present in my mind because of some boys who used to call me that on the school bus.  I never could get past any of it, no matter what anyone told me.

Unfortunately, those thoughts followed me into adulthood, and I thought it would be something that I would struggle with the rest of my life. Fast-forward to 2013. My husband and I went on a vacation to Disney World.  It was the week prior to leaving that I saw a picture of myself and thought, "Oh my gosh. I have got to do something."  I knew that I could not start anything right away, because...DISNEY! :)  So I dedicated to starting the very week that we got back.

My "before" picture taken at Disney World.

It is quite funny and sometimes astounding to be able to look back from where you came. I love looking at my TimeHop every day to see what kinds of crazy things I posted on my social media. But it is also very good for looking back on the posts that you make on your fitness journey.  For example...this post:

This was my very first lunch on my "lifestyle change."

Now, some of you may not see anything wrong with this meal.  I know that I thought I was doing so well with making changes and instead of taking pizza to work, I brought my Subway sandwich.  But this was my first step into a healthier lifestyle. The first step is important. The first step is memorable. The first step changes everything. I was stepping outside my comfort zone to do something for myself. I actually started this journey to lose weight, but to also figure out if I could fully get rid of my headaches.  I had headaches daily since I was in second grade. :/ I got migraines starting in sixth grade.  I thought they were hereditary because my dad and my aunt both got them, and I seriously thought I was doomed and would suffer with them the rest of my life. I carried Head On (remember that commercial??) and Excedrin Migraine in my purse at all times. It was miserable. I could not get rid of them no matter what I did.  So after stepping out on my own, trying to figure out how to do this "healthy eating thing," I eventually got the hang of it. 

Over the years, my choice of food got better. But it was a learning process for me, and if you are on this journey, it has probably been a learning process for you, too. I sat at my desk at work and researched how to make this work for me.  I truly had to figure it out and test it out.  Some things worked and some things did not. It was trial and error most of the time.  You have probably found that true for you as well.

Health is not a one size fits all! About the time I started my journey, the term "clean eating" was running rampant.  I was so confused. I had NO idea what the heck that even meant.  So I did more research.  It was at that point that I started to take more of the processed foods out of my diet.  It was also at that point that my headaches started to disappear.  I did not notice it right away, but after a while, I had realized that I did not have a headache every single day.  I was shocked.

From there, I kept doing research. There were skin problems and tummy problems that I was determined to get to the bottom of. There were hormone problems, hair problems, weight problems. It has been a process, but I have slowly been changing my life.  I have learned a lot. I have shared some of that knowledge with women over the last several years.  But it is my hope to share some of my story--the lessons that I have learned with more of you.

My journey is not perfect.  If you have followed me on social media for very long, you already know this.  I am still trying to figure out things that work for me.  But my journey is mine.

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My journey started with a mindset.  I was ready for something different.  And it is still all about mindset.

Whether you think you can or you think you can't--you are right. --Henry Ford

Each day is a battle to live my healthiest self.  I am always faced with two choices: Work out or be lazy  |||  Eat healthy or eat junk It is as simple as that.  But it is definitely easier said than done.  That is why it is a battle.  At least it is for me.  Being in the right frame of mind helps, and it makes things a lot easier. I will be sharing tips and tricks that I have learned along my journey.  I sure hope that you will find something beneficial that you can use in your own journey!

Hawaii: Part 5

So I got really busy and didn't blog the rest of our Hawaii trip.
Here I am again...

Did you miss the first posts?
Here they are:
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4


On Tuesday morning, Tyler and I got up to go Scuba Diving.  I really wish we would have had pictures from it, because it was an amazing experience.  I had never seen sea turtles that huge in my life, and to get to "swim" with them was so neat!

We hadn't been Scuba Diving since our honeymoon, so I was a little rusty.  We did a two-tank dive meaning, we got to dive twice.  Breathing through a regulator is SO different that just breathing.  I had a mini-panic attack when I was trying to descend the first time, but I got my breathing under control and had a fun time.

When we got finished with the first dive, we headed back to the boat.  The waves were SO choppy, and even just floating in the water made me sick.  I got back on the boat, water and snacks were passed around, but I couldn't even make it back to my seat.  I laid on the floor of the boat with my head down.  I was SO sick.  I've never been that sick in my life.  It was rough!  We went back to the dock for a few minutes of rest since I wasn't feeling too well.  It was much better to walk on land. :)

Our second dive went better, and I was able to stay under for a lot longer since I wasn't using all of my oxygen.  I love scuba diving, so I hope we'll be able to do it again soon!

My parents had gone to the beach nearby, so we stopped to say hi to them.  We were waiting for our Whale Watching adventure to start.  It was a nice day for the beach!

The Whale Watching was a complete bust.  It ended up being the most expensive boat ride we've ever taken.

That's about the extent of what we saw.  Seriously...such a waste of money.  We were disappointed.

On the way back to the house that night, we did stop for tacos.  They were delicious!!

The one thing I didn't like was that they put cabbage on everything.  I'm not a cabbage fan.  I'd rather have lettuce.  But they were yummy and filling!

Well, come back tomorrow and I'll have Wednesday's pictures up! :)

My Little Container Garden

Growing up, my mom planted a garden.
Dad or Grandpa would come disk it or field cultivate it with the tractor and then we'd plant it.
Sweet corn, tomatoes, peppers, and green beans were a given.  Always.
I hated planting it, but what I hated even more was pulling weeds.  AH!
I always said that I would NOT be having a garden when I grow up.

Ya know what I think?
I think that all the things you say you're not going to do as a child, you end up doing and ENJOYING it!
I said I would not cook.  I would not plant a garden. And I would not have boring walls in my house.
Well...all three things have happened.  And yes, I like them.

When I moved into my own place, I wanted to spruce the place up, so I got a pot and some flowers.
Then when we moved to St. Louis, my mom helped me pick out flowers to plant at our apartment.  
I wanted to try container gardening, but we didn't have enough sunlight or space.
So I waited until we had a house.
Now I think I bug my husband with all my ideas of things I want to dig up and plant. :)

I went home in April for Easter and my mom took me over to the greenhouse in the country that we always go to.  
Ever since I was introduced to Betty Rocker, I started cooking with fresh herbs.
I decided that I wanted to grow some herbs in my container garden, so I picked some up at the greenhouse, along with tomatoes and peppers.

I went to Menard's one evening after work and picked up some pots, soil, and a few flowers.

We have this rock in the front of our house that is maroon...and matches our shutters.  
I actually want to get rid of it and replace it with mulch, but I assume that project will happen next year.
Anyway, I stole some of the rock and put it in the bottom of my pots.  I just wanted to make sure it would drain well.  It's not necessarily needed, but what the heck...

Then I added the soil to the pots.

Here it is after I got all the plants planted!

And here it is today:

I've got 4 Roma tomato plants, 4 plants of red peppers, and 4 plants of yellow peppers, a pot with sage and thyme, a pot with 4 basil plants, a hanging pot of 4 cilantro plants, and two pots of flowers and a boot (soon to be 2 boots) of strawberry plants.

I am very excited to hopefully make tomato sauce and salsa this year, as well as use the herbs to cook with! :)
Oh and I just got the tomato cages today...I color coordinated them with my pots.  I'm cool like that! haha!
I'm pretty proud of this cute little container garden.  I can't wait to reap the harvest!

Do you have a garden?  What have you planted in it?