I used to yearn for someone to share this day with.
I wanted so badly for some boy to send me flowers or a balloon to school like all the other girls had.
But that isn't in my love story.
Instead, I have a lot of tears, "whys," and prayers in mine.
My parents had told me that I couldn't date until I was 16.
When I turned 16, I thought I would have boys lined up at my door just waiting to date me.
I had a ton of guy friends and very few girl friends.
But I liked it that way.
During my junior year of high school, I promised myself that I wasn't going to date anyone that year...even if the chance arose.
I was happy with my decision.
I didn't need a boy, but it would have been nice to have.
My best friend at the time had a couple of boyfriends, so of course I was a little jealous.
High school came and went.
Whew, I was outta that small town with lame guys.
(I apologize to my guy friends that I still talk to...you aren't lame, but most everyone else is. ha!)
I was on to bigger and better things...attending a school of 20,000 students.
There just had to be guys there.
My freshman year of college, I connected with 3 other girls.
That was a first...we were best friends.
During that time, I learned a lot about myself.
We shared our lives with each other and truly got to know one another.
During that time, God was shaping my heart.
I had learned so much from them and their experiences.
I learned what I wanted and what I didn't want in a guy.
I learned what it looked like to be completely broken.
I learned what it looked like to have an unhealthy attachment to a significant other.
Of course, I still wanted to have a boyfriend.
Satan loved to get into my mind, and the thought of "What is wrong with me?" always came across my mind.
I always was asking myself, "Why?"
I cried lots of tears at the thought of no one wanting me, and I prayed lots of prayers because the desire of my heart was to be married to someone who truly loved and cared for me.
Fast forward to my sophomore year of college.
A suitemate of mine had told me she had met my future husband.
Of course, I was intrigued.
A few unfortunate events happened between her telling me that and actually meeting him.
But I finally did meet him.
Boy was he cute.
I didn't have texting at the time because my dad thought it was unnecessary, so that Christmas instead of texting me to wish me Merry Christmas, he had to call me.
Now, since I had never had a boyfriend before, I was a little blind at what was happening.
My mom teased me relentlessly that he had a crush on me.
I told her he was just being friendly.
But we talked via facebook every day of Christmas break.
When we got back from break, we continued our friendship.
We hung out every night together.
Did I mentioned he lived in the room above me on campus?
But a few more unfortunate events happened...
and through that, we became friends.
It wasn't until May 1st, 2009 that we went on our first date.
The rest is basically history.
He proposed July 2, 2010 and we were married July 30, 2011.
As I look back on the last four years, I couldn't imagine my life without Tyler.
As I look back to the years before him, I realize that I didn't miss a single thing.
I have no regrets from past relationships.
I have no regrets, period.
He was my first boyfriend.
God knew what He was doing.
I may have cried many tears, but they were out of loneliness when I wasn't relying on Him to meet that need for me.
He knew the desires of my heart and brought me exactly what I needed at exactly the right time.
I look forward to our future together and what it might bring.
There's no one else I'd rather share it with.
To those of you single ladies out there, God truly knows the desires of your heart. He knows the perfect time to give you what you need. He may be saving you from heart break. He may be saving you from making stupid decisions. Before you ever ask yourself, "What is wrong with me," you should know that you are loved by Him...the only one who truly knows how to love us. You may be at a rough spot, and believe me I know how hard it is, but God has such a perfect and beautiful plan for you.
Happy Valentine's Day!
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