When You're Empty

The last three weeks have taken a toll on me.  My husband has been sick with a mystery illness, which has led to a lot of appointments and tests.  He doesn't "do" doctors, so I have felt the need to be strong for him, to have all the questions ready, and to hold his hand while he's going through it all.  Not only that, I have a business to run, and I have to take care of myself as well. I have been giving it all that I have. It has made me tired--physically, mentally, and emotionally.  I go to bed each night, and as soon as my head hits the pillow, I'm out.  The next thing I know, the alarm goes off and the cycle starts over again.

This past week, I really thought that I had burnout from life, but today, I realized that it's not burnout at all. I still have passion within me. I still love what I do.  I still love to serve others.  It's just that my fire is dim.  I'm empty. I've given all I have, and I haven't taken time to be filled up. Sure, I sit and read my Bible daily--but have I been in His presence long enough to hear what He's saying to me? Unfortunately, no.

I picked up a new book to read this week. It was God using another person to speak into my life. He does that, you know. 😉  I sat down to read this morning, and everything that was written in that chapter was written especially for me.

"How dangerous it is when our souls are grasping for God but we're too distracted flirting with the world to notice."

Ugh. Yes...my souls longs for Him, but it hasn't been still long enough.

"Indeed, the world entices your flesh but never embraces your soul. All the while, the only love caring enough to embrace us and complete enough to fill us, waits. 

He waits every day with every answer we need, every comfort we crave, every affection we're desperate for, while we look everywhere else but Him."

I am a go-go-go type of person. I'm pretty sure I learned that from my parents. 😉 Growing up, we weren't allowed to have down time. If I were caught reading a book in the middle of the day, there was a 99% chance that I would be going with Dad to work on the farm. But because of that mentality, I learned work ethic.  I am a hard worker.  I don't just do things halfway.  I'm an all or nothing kind of girl.

So these last few weeks, I have literally given it my all.  I have given so much that I haven't taken the time to be filled.  Unfortunately, you cannot pour into others when your cup is empty.  In my "job," and I say that lightly because I don't think of it as a job, I have to constantly be encouraging and supporting others.  I have to pour into them...that's how you invest and build relationships.  But I haven't been able to do that well.  Because I am empty.

Over the next few days, I'm going to do as God commands:

"He says, 'Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.'"  Psalm 46:10

I am going to be still in His presence because I know that it's difficult for me.  I'm going to be still because I know that He not only honors hard work, but He also honors that quiet time.  I am going to be still so that He can pour into me, so that I in turn can pour into others.



I think the biggest thing I took away from today's reading of Uninvited was this:

"Fullness comes to us when we remember to be with Him before going out to serve Him.  He wants our hearts to be in alignment with Him before our hands set about doing today's assignment for Him."

Yes, even when we're trying to share Jesus with others, we can be drained.  We have to have that fullness that only HE can give.  If you're feeling empty today, I pray that you will take some time to rest in Him.  Be still.  Listen to what He has to say to you.  Only then will you be filled and full.