Journey to Jesus: Trust

I used to be a trusting person.  I believe we are all born with an inherent ability to trust others.  As babies, we are in the most vulnerable state we will probably ever allow ourselves to be in.  We are supposed to trust our parents to care for us and our family members to love us. We are to trust our friends to give us that connection that we long for.  But this world is broken, and sin is present.  We do not live in a perfect world.

 I remember a time where I did trust people.  I lived in a small, conservative town where everyone knew everyone else.  I did not have to stay away from a certain part of town.  I did not have restrictions on who I could or could not associate with.  I know there were people in my community who watched out for me, but I had an overall trusting attitude towards people, too.

Unfortunately, a couple of situations happened as a young girl that hurt me deeply.  I am a words person.  Words of affirmation is my love language, so when someone says something hurtful or hateful, it drains my love bank.  It also drains my trust bank.  These unkind words shaped my life.  I did not know it at the time, but my mindset was built around these events, and it has been difficult to trust people ever since.

Over the years, I had lots of experiences where I was hurt by various friends growing up.  I was hurt by people I was supposed to trust.  Each of these situations depleted my ability to trust others.  I became slower to make friends because I wanted to make sure that I trusted them before I allowed them in my life.

In late 2014, I heard the song, "Oceans," by Hillsong and immediately fell in love with it. I already knew that my relationship with Christ was lacking, so I started using Hillsong's lyrics and started praying:

Spirit, lead me where my trust is without boarders, Let me walk upon the waters, wherever you would call me. Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander, And my faith will be made stronger In the presence of my Savior.

Shortly after I started praying that prayer, my Granny passed away.  Looking back now, I understand what God was doing.  He was using that circumstance to bring me back to Him.  But I was in a hole...a hole that I did not know how to get out of.  I was definitely in a situation that was deeper than I could ever get out of myself. I had to trust Him--that He would bring me out of the depths.

Proverbs 3:5-6 says,

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.

I had to learn to lean on Him in the hard times.  I had to learn that my way was not better than His way.

In 2016, my word for the year was "trust." I knew that I needed to put more trust in God, my husband, and my living situation.  I knew that I needed to trust in a relationship being restored.  I needed to trust that my home is in Him.

I started praying this prayer again.  I want to live my life in a way that glorifies the Lord in every aspect.  I know He not only desires I put my trust in Him, but others as well.

 

Trust can be rebuilt. It is hard, and it takes time. But it is a beautiful thing when it happens.

 Proverbs 16:9 says,

In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps.

I fully believe that this phase will be one that I am in the rest of my life.  I know that I have a long way to go with my issues, and I know that God is capable of restoring and redeeming every bad thing in my life.  This is a phase that I do not want to lose sight of.  I am sure that I will need reminded of it a million times!

I hope that you have put your trust in the Lord.  If you are struggling with this, can we connect?  I would love to be able to encourage you in your faith walk.  I would also love to be able to pray with you.  I feel that this is one of the most important things that you can learn as a follower of Christ.  It is one thing that I will keep learning.

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